Confessions of a Werewolf
by Failing Grace
Summary: Sure, everyone knows what Harry thinks, but what about everyone's favorite werewolf? Confessions of a Werewolf is the Harry Potter series from his point of view. BL. RLxSB.
1. Prelude from Misery

Thank you, God.

Thank you, God.

Thank you, God.

As fate would have it, Remus was starting to believe in that divine figure above; He had obviously just saved his best friend from almost certain death. Remus sighed out of relief, walking down the hall, not really knowing where he was going, or why he was going...he just needed to go— whatever it took to stay away from Sirius.

What on earth, right?

Wrong. Perhaps, it would be the wiser choice of action if one stayed away from their best friend, too, if they had almost killed him. And what was worse, poor Remus didn't remember any of it! He just came back to, and Sirius was laying in a pool of his own blood, and James, holding onto Sirius' limp body, was glaring up at him. What had happened? Why did it happen? None of it made sense...then James had finally told him.

'I can't believe I did that to him...I'm so sorry Sirius!' He thought, biting down on a pale lower lip. Sighing again, the seventeen year old ran a hand through honey colored hair in a worried sort of manner; making the boy look more of a mess than he already did.

Large bruise-like circles were accompanying his golden-amber eyes; and his lips seemed to be put in a long term frown. In major contradiction to his usual proper attire, even on the weekends, Remus was seen today in black, baggy sweatpants and a Quidditch World Cup tee-shirt. In all honesty, he was mess.

One. Big. Emaciated. Mess.

That's right. Normally, when he was feeling miserable, he would fall back on his large, and seemingly endless, supplies of different types of chocolate, but he had gone past that stage. Chocolate couldn't bring him out of this. Chocolate couldn't save him. He was on the verge of wishing himself dead.

He had almost killed his best friend.

And only he, Peter, James, and the headmaster knew about it. Every one else was in complete wonder and shock at how the magnificent and completely gorgeous Sirius Black had wound up in a coma. It just didn't make sense. During the day, Sirius had been completely fine, but then the next day, he was unconscious, had seven broken ribs, sustained major damage to his collar bone, and had shattered every bone on his left arm and leg? Ever since it had happened, the student body had been hounding James and Remus to tell them what happened. But unfortunately, whenever asked, they were usually given along the same answer.

"How should I know? Probably doing something ridiculous without me..." was generally James' response, followed by a malicious look over to Remus.

Or silence. Remus would never talk about it. Every time some one began to bring it up, he honestly wanted to die.

Now it was like tears came easier to him; he found himself lying in his bed at night; wondering how he could have done such a thing...and then the tears came. Like an onslaught of everything not well with him, streaming down his face. What the hell was wrong?

Why?

Every possible question that needed to be known in the boy's head, that was what he wanted to know most.

Why?

Why did it happen to Sirius? Now, do not misunderstand the boy...it was not like he wanted it to happen to James. Hell, he didn't want it to happen to any one. "They should just send me to Azkaban…" He murmured, letting his head the stone wall with a dull thud. Out of any feeling one had to experience, Survivor's Guilt was definitely the worst. He groaned softly, letting himself sink to the ground, his forehead still resting against the cool stone.

However, unfortunately for Moony, some one had caught him in this pathetic looking state. Another tall, lanky figure, much like himself—however, not held in quite the same light— approached.

"My God, Lupin…" The figure sneered, the black hair hanging limply in his eyes. "What's happened?" He asked in mock sympathy. "Has Black and Potter gone and left you to die alone?" When the mound, which was Remus, hadn't responded, the seventeen year old Slytherin removed his wand, poking the other boy in the head. "Lupin? You _are_ alive aren't you?"

Another choked sob welled up in Remus' throat as he finally looked up, crying "Oh, God! I wish I wasn't!" He then quickly buried his head in his hands trying to quiet his sniffles.

Seeing Lupin like that was _almost_ enough for Snape to forget his desire to see all of the Marauders like that; suffering, just like he had…but that was _almost_. He still didn't feel like befriending the honey blonde, but perhaps he could send him on his cheery way and have the nagging in the back of his head shut up; he wasn't doing Remus a favor or anything. He knelt down to the other's level, his face softening somewhat. "D-Don't say that…" Snape stammered before adding, "It's all right. Now tell me what's happened." Part of him did desire to know what was ailing the boy, just, perhaps, for the wrong reasons.

"Haven't you heard, though??"

Snape continued to stare in silence, his eyes scanning Lupin's face, waiting for an answer.

Apparently not.

"Sirius is in the hospital wing! He's even in a coma! And it's all my fa—" Lupin trailed off, realizing that even if he had said it was his fault, it wouldn't make any sense to a complete outsider in the matter.

Severus smiled awkwardly, as if what Remus had said had pleased him— which it had. "Is that all? Surely, you should know you can't blame yourself for how completely idiotic Black can be…he was probably doing something dangerous and being careless, like he always is."

Opening his mouth to protest, Lupin shut it, pausing to examine the other boy's features. He had never really understood why the other Marauders had such a hard time looking at him; but, then again, he had never seen his face up close before. In that moment, though, his suspicions had been confirmed. He had been right all along; Severus looked completely normal, if not on the almost attractive side. The other boy had icy green eyes, high-set cheekbones, a rather large nose, and his black hair nicely framed his face in a shy, dignified manner— even if it was a little greasy looking. Plus, he had all of those hard-working, studious skills that Remus always found admirable. Aside from Severus hating him and the others, he was almost friendly. Wait. Snape hated Remus. What was going on?

"Ehm…Severus?" Lupin asked, dragging the back of his hand across his golden-amber eyes, gently clearing his throat. "Why are you here…? Talking to me…?"

Flushing a faint pink, Snape stood, feeling irritated that the topic of conversation had turned. "I was on my way to the library…and you happened to be wallowing in some sense of self pity. What was I supposed to do? Leave you to the wrath of Peeves?" He held out a hand, offering to pull Remus to his feet. Something about the other boy's mood was enough to make Snape, of all people, want to change it. "But I think some cold air will do you some good. Want to go for a walk?"

Remus sat there for a moment, shocked at Snape's answer. 'It's nice, though.' He finally decided in his mind, taking Severus' hand, allowing himself to be pulled to his feet.

"It'll be all right." Snape mumbled, briefly glancing at the boy beside him, quickly shoving his hand into his pocket. Had he really just helped one of his enemies stand up? He shook his head, his piercing green eyes once more covered by greasy black hair.

The cold of the early-spring weather had definitely shocked Remus out of the majority of his depression; so much so, he felt like he could even take on the questions about Sirius, without wanting to cry.

However, this hadn't been the only thing that had shocked him. It was everything about Severus. The way he had been acting…it was like no one really knew him at all! Remus wondered if anyone _did_ know him; and sadly, he already knew the answer. It was partially his fault; no wonder Snape hated them. Despite his not usually having a part in the pranks, he often wondered if he had the power to end some of them. Although, inwardly, he knew well enough he never had the gall to tell the others not to do it and to leave poor Severus alone.

Lupin sighed, pulling the loaned cloak closer around him, kicking at a small pile of leaves.

"What's wrong? You've been pretty quiet…" Snape hesitated, bringing a hand out of his pocket to make some circular motion with his hand. "Aren't you normally a bit more talkative and…happy?"

Attempting a small reassuring smile at the kind gesture, he said "It's nothing. Just thinking…"

How many people had noticed how much Snape had grown over the summer holiday? Certainly not Remus, that is, not until Severus had pulled him to his feet with ease, leaving Remus staring up at him. He must have been almost Sirius' height, perhaps an inch or so shorter. Despite Remus' short height of five seven at the age of seventeen, he was still taken by surprise when yet another person was looking down at him.

Or…how many people thought Snape would have ever given up his cloak? Seriously? When Remus had started shivering, almost as if by instinct, the other boy had shrugged off his cloak, given it to him, and said "It was my idea to drag you out here like that, at least wear this." Remus had almost laughed, wanting to ask him if he was joking.

Apparently not.

'This person is completely different from who I thought Snape was. I should ask him if he wants to study together some time. No…that'd be awkward. But well, I would like to get to know him. He seems like a pretty good guy. Well, why not. The worst he can say is no.'

"Severus?"

"Mmm?" Hearing his normal name, as compared to Snivellus, sounded so much better, Snape couldn't help the small smile that crept over his lips.

Lacing his fingers together nervously, Remus hoped this was as easy as he had thought it would be. "Well, you know the Ancient Runes exam is coming up, and well, maybe we could, oh, I don't know…maybe go over the material together? I mean, it's not like you need help on it or anything; you are one of the top four in our class, and the top of the Slytherins…oh, or maybe you wouldn't want to because Gryffindors and Slytherins don't really study to…gether…"

Lupin trailed off when Snape let out a small snicker. He cursed at himself silently; that had sounded so completely un-Remus. He never rambled like that….now, he was sure there was no chance of them getting to know each other. Remus scowled down embarrassedly at the leaves, waiting for some sort of ridiculing reply.

"Yes, I'd like that."

This once more surprised Remus, but he smiled nonetheless. "All right, how about tomorrow, around four, in the library?"

"That sounds fine."

—The Next Day—

"Haha, I guess it's no surprise, but you're bloody brilliant, Severus." Remus said, pulling his knees closer to his chest. "It's like you have the whole bloody textbook memorized!"

The school day had seemed to drag out more so than normal; between missing Sirius, James glaring at him, Peter not understanding Charms, and waiting for the rendezvous in the library, it was nearly unbearable for Remus. But now the two sat in the back of the library; the place where the bookworms usually went to study, both curled up in overstuffed armchairs. The chairs faced a medium sized oak table, littered with Ancient Rune textbooks and parchment. They had bewitched a small lantern to hover about three feet above the table, lighting up the surrounding area.

Severus gave a feeble smile, closing one of the books. "No, it's nothing like that…I just have a lot of time on my hands."

Frowning, Remus looked between the other boy and the books on the table. "I'm sorr—"

"Oh for Merlin's sake, stop apologizing, Lupin. If you make a mistake, of course, apologize. But these things aren't really your fault. You're not the one who should be sorry." Snape pressed his lips into a pale, thin line before speaking again. "And I've—" He hesitated, unsure whether he should finish his sentence. However, when he looked back up to the honey-eyed blonde, he at last stammered "I-I've enjoyed the time here today. It's n-nice."

Remus smiled, tilting his head up against the back of the cushion. "Then we should go to Hogsmeade this weekend."

"Don't do me any favors, Lupin. I understand I'm nothing like Black."

"No…" Lupin began, suddenly trailing off into more inaudible mumbling.

Severus sighed, leaning back in his chair. "Oh for Merlin's sake, out with it already…!"

"I want to go with you because I _want_ to!" As soon as the words came out of his mouth, a brilliant shade of scarlet flushed into his cheeks.

This response seemed to take Snape one step further in his astonishment. After a moment of sitting there, gaping at Remus, he finally blinked back into reality. "D-Do…do you really?"

"Yes…" Lupin said softly, still blushing. 'This is strange,' he thought, feeling the warmth in his cheeks. 'I've never acted like this around anyone…except…well, Sirius…but I guess I've learned not to show it anymore…'

A smile crept across Snape's lips, as he began to nod. "All right, then we'll go. I need to get some supplies from the apothecary anyways."

"Yeah…" Remus was glowing, looking completely at ease. "Oh!" Sitting up a start, the book in his lap clattered to the floor. "I have to go see Sirius…" He rubbed the back of his neck looking slightly embarrassed. "Um, yeah…I had a good time too. I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked, gathering up his books and some of the parchment mess.

Severus blinked a few times, standing as well. "Hmm? You want to study again?"

Laughing, Remus shook his head. "No, I meant I'll see you tomorrow, in class."

"Oh…" This brought a faint blush to Snape's pale cheeks. "Oh, yes, of course…see you."

Waving before he scampered out of the library, Remus smiled to himself, despite his thoughts. 'I wish Sirius would wake up soon…I hope he'll be all right with this…' He sighed aloud. 'Who am I kidding? Of course he won't…' _Of course_ Sirius would be upset if he knew his best friend was associating with the person he hated most.

—That Sunday—

"Are you going to eat that?" Remus asked, eyeing Severus' bar of chocolate.

Severus laughed, nodding his head. "Yes, I'm going to eat this. Merlin, Lupin…you've already eaten half of your bag," he said, nodding towards the bag of Honeyduke's chocolate in Remus' arm. "And now you want to eat mine?"

Biting down on the end of his finger, Remus frowned, nudging Severus' elbow with his own. "But—…oh wait! What's that??" Remus asked eagerly, pointing to the other side of the row of shops.

"Hmm?" Severus turned his head, too distracted to feel the bar of chocolate slip out of his hand. After a moment, he looked back to Remus. "What? I didn't— Remus!" Snape looked between Remus, who was once more eating chocolate, and his own empty hand.

Remus stuck out his tongue, before finishing off the rest of the bar. "What?" He asked innocently, licking the tips of his fingers.

"You really like that don't you?"

Laughing, the smaller boy asked "What makes you think that?" He smiled, "Think of it as a late birthday present to me."

"It was your birthday? When?"

Remus smiled, tucking a stray strand of hair behind his ear. "March nineteenth."

"Oh, then that wasn't that long ago…" Severus smiled and nodded. "All right, fine. Happy belated Birthday."

—During the Week; Wednesday—

The days seemed to go by quicker and with ease, now that Remus had found a friend in Severus. It had been about two weeks since Snape had started talking to him. The routine for Remus' day became almost like clockwork. Class. Class with Severus. More class. Study during lunch. Another class. Study with Snape. And, of course, visit Sirius. Remus was almost completely content with it. He just wished Sirius would wake up.

Having made it through his morning classes, Remus sat at the Gryffindor table, letting the feather of his quill tap on the table, while nibbling on a small sandwich. He had almost finished writing his advanced potions paper, when Peter came scuttling up to him, panting.

"Remus! Remus!"

Glancing up, Remus' face suddenly flooded with worry; he frowned. "What is it?"

After he had caught his breath, Peter smiled. "Pad-Padfoot woke up."

"Sirius!" Without hesitation, Remus stood, dashing off to the infirmary. Out of breath, he doubled over at the door, his face flushed from running up several flights of stairs.

"Moony…?"

The boy looked up, his breathing heavy, searching for the owner of the voice. "S-Sirius!" Despite his body screaming for rest, he urged himself onward, making his way towards Sirius' bed. "Oh my God, Sirius…" Having basically flung himself down on the next to his friend, he took Sirius' face in his hands, resting his forehead on the other boy's. "I'm so sorry…"

Sirius patted Remus' shoulder, letting his hand rest there, and smiled. "Oh, Moony, Moony, Moony…don't apologize." He laughed, adding "Just don't ever do that again."

Letting his eyes close, Remus smiled. Just being near him, and hearing his voice, it was so relieving. He relaxed more against Sirius, whispering "Of course."

Remus had decided to skip out on the rest of the day's classes; he was too busy fretting over Sirius and filling him in on everything that had happened since the accident. Everything, that is, except Severus. It was long past five; much later than he had originally planned to meet his Slytherin friend. And it was only then the thought occurred to him.

"Bloody hell!" Remus stood up so fast his head had collided with Sirius'. "Ow! Ugh…I'm sorry, Sirius! I have to go; I'll come see you tomorrow!"

"Remus!" Sirius called after him, rubbing his head. "Where are you going?!"

Ignoring the question, Remus yelled another brief apology at the infirmary door, and then dashed off again; this time towards the library. While climbing the flights of stairs, Remus frowned. 'Oh, I hope he won't be upset with me…damn. Of course he'll be upset! I was with Sirius!' He slowed his pace when reaching the library door. Wasn't that the way things always seemed to go? Making friends with people that his other friends hated… _Lovely_.

The librarian gave a brief wave and pointed towards the back looking slightly concerned.

Remus gave an apologetic frown, reaching the back to see Severus in his usual armchair. Still frowning, he finally managed to steal the other's attention away from the book in his hands. "Severus…" He began softly, squeezing his other hand. "Umm, I'm sorry…I lost track of time…y-you see, during lunch Peter came and told me Sirius came to. So I've been with him…I'm really sorry…really, I am." Quieting, he noticed that Severus had only looked at him once, and then returned to his book, looking genuinely hurt; the kind of hurt that Remus often had seen behind Snape's mask of anger and disgust. "Severus…" He said after a few minutes. He then laid his fingertips on the top of the book, pushing it flat onto Severus' lap. "Please say something…"

Snape's jade eyes narrowed into a soft glare as his gaze finally met Lupin's. "What do you want me to say?" He asked flatly, his voice cool, with the hint of the familiar venom to it.

"I-I don't know…but I am sorry."

"As you've already told me." Severus lifted his book again, continuing to read. But seeing Remus still standing in front of him made him look up once more and frown. "What? Why aren't you with your precious Black?"

An irritated look spread across Remus' face as his fists clenched and his eyes narrowed. "Would you stop that? Even though you've tried to hide it, you think I'm doing you some favor by hanging around you, don't you? Can't I just be your friend? Is there something _wrong_ with that, Severus? Because I'm friends with Sirius, James, and Peter, does that mean I can't be your friend as well? All right! Fine, I admit it; yes! I'm ecstatic that Sirius is awake and well! But just because my old friends are back, doesn't mean I plan to throw away my new ones! Didn't the last few weeks mean _anything_ to you?? Do you take me for some one that superficial?? Does it occur to you that maybe some one actually wants to be your friend?!"

Severus looked taken aback at Remus' sudden outburst; from what he had always seen was a calm, collected Lupin. Yet here he was, flustered, yelling, and upset. Snape had always envied Remus for the mask of calm he always wore; and often wondered if there was any way some one could ever break it. And it looked like he of all people had managed to be the first to put a crack in it. He set his book down, standing, so he was towering over the smaller boy. His eyes narrowed, but his frown turned into a grin. "I'm sorry, Remus." He said coolly, his tone carrying a playful tease to it.

Still flustered, and now more relaxed, the shorter boy let his fist hit Severus' arm. "Augh! I hate you!" A small laugh escaped him as he collapsed in his own chair. "That's _all _you have to say?!" He asked, a pouting smile playing at his lips.

"That was quite the tirade you gave…" Severus said, sitting back down.

Remus blushed, his eyes falling to the floor. "Haha, yeah…I'm not really sure where that came from." He looked back up, matching Severus' gaze. "But it's all true. I'm here, right now, because I want to be. Really."

Snape smiled, leaning back. "All right, Lupin, but you owe me a butterbeer."


	2. Finding Comfort in the Forbidden

However, unfortunately for Moony, some one had caught him in this pathetic looking state. Another tall, lanky figure, much like himself—however, not held in quite the same light— approached.

"My God, Lupin…" The figure sneered, the black hair hanging limply in his eyes. "What's happened?" He asked in mock sympathy. "Has Black and Potter gone and left you to die alone?" When the mound, which was Remus, hadn't responded, the seventeen year old Slytherin removed his wand, poking the other boy in the head. "Lupin? You _are_ alive aren't you?"

Another choked sob welled up in Remus' throat as he finally looked up, crying "Oh, God! I wish I wasn't!" He then quickly buried his head in his hands trying to quiet his sniffles.

Seeing Lupin like that was _almost_ enough for Snape to forget his desire to see all of the Marauders like that; suffering, just like he had…but that was _almost_. He still didn't feel like befriending the honey blonde, but perhaps he could send him on his cheery way and have the nagging in the back of his head shut up; he wasn't doing Remus a favor or anything. He knelt down to the other's level, his face softening somewhat. "D-Don't say that…" Snape stammered before adding, "It's all right. Now tell me what's happened." Part of him did desire to know what was ailing the boy, just, perhaps, for the wrong reasons.

"Haven't you heard, though??"

Snape continued to stare in silence, his eyes scanning Lupin's face, waiting for an answer.

Apparently not.

"Sirius is in the hospital wing! He's even in a coma! And it's all my fa—" Lupin trailed off, realizing that even if he had said it was his fault, it wouldn't make any sense to a complete outsider in the matter.

Severus smiled awkwardly, as if what Remus had said had pleased him— which it had. "Is that all? Surely, you should know you can't blame yourself for how completely idiotic Black can be…he was probably doing something dangerous and being careless, like he always is."

Opening his mouth to protest, Lupin shut it, pausing to examine the other boy's features. He had never really understood why the other Marauders had such a hard time looking at him; but, then again, he had never seen his face up close before. In that moment, though, his suspicions had been confirmed. He had been right all along; Severus looked completely normal, if not on the almost attractive side. The other boy had icy green eyes, high-set cheekbones, a rather large nose, and his black hair nicely framed his face in a shy, dignified manner— even if it was a little greasy looking. Plus, he had all of those hard-working, studious skills that Remus always found admirable. Aside from Severus hating him and the others, he was almost friendly. Wait. Snape hated Remus. What was going on?

"Ehm…Severus?" Lupin asked, dragging the back of his hand across his golden-amber eyes, gently clearing his throat. "Why are you here…? Talking to me…?"

Flushing a faint pink, Snape stood, feeling irritated that the topic of conversation had turned. "I was on my way to the library…and you happened to be wallowing in some sense of self pity. What was I supposed to do? Leave you to the wrath of Peeves?" He held out a hand, offering to pull Remus to his feet. Something about the other boy's mood was enough to make Snape, of all people, want to change it. "But I think some cold air will do you some good. Want to go for a walk?"

Remus sat there for a moment, shocked at Snape's answer. 'It's nice, though.' He finally decided in his mind, taking Severus' hand, allowing himself to be pulled to his feet.

"It'll be all right." Snape mumbled, briefly glancing at the boy beside him, quickly shoving his hand into his pocket. Had he really just helped one of his enemies stand up? He shook his head, his piercing green eyes once more covered by greasy black hair.

The cold of the early-spring weather had definitely shocked Remus out of the majority of his depression; so much so, he felt like he could even take on the questions about Sirius, without wanting to cry.

However, this hadn't been the only thing that had shocked him. It was everything about Severus. The way he had been acting…it was like no one really knew him at all! Remus wondered if anyone _did_ know him; and sadly, he already knew the answer. It was partially his fault; no wonder Snape hated them. Despite his not usually having a part in the pranks, he often wondered if he had the power to end some of them. Although, inwardly, he knew well enough he never had the gall to tell the others not to do it and to leave poor Severus alone.

Lupin sighed, pulling the loaned cloak closer around him, kicking at a small pile of leaves.

"What's wrong? You've been pretty quiet…" Snape hesitated, bringing a hand out of his pocket to make some circular motion with his hand. "Aren't you normally a bit more talkative and…happy?"

Attempting a small reassuring smile at the kind gesture, he said "It's nothing. Just thinking…"

How many people had noticed how much Snape had grown over the summer holiday? Certainly not Remus, that is, not until Severus had pulled him to his feet with ease, leaving Remus staring up at him. He must have been almost Sirius' height, perhaps an inch or so shorter. Despite Remus' short height of five seven at the age of seventeen, he was still taken by surprise when yet another person was looking down at him.

Or…how many people thought Snape would have ever given up his cloak? Seriously? When Remus had started shivering, almost as if by instinct, the other boy had shrugged off his cloak, given it to him, and said "It was my idea to drag you out here like that, at least wear this." Remus had almost laughed, wanting to ask him if he was joking.

Apparently not.

'This person is completely different from who I thought Snape was. I should ask him if he wants to study together some time. No…that'd be awkward. But well, I would like to get to know him. He seems like a pretty good guy. Well, why not. The worst he can say is no.'

"Severus?"

"Mmm?" Hearing his normal name, as compared to Snivellus, sounded so much better, Snape couldn't help the small smile that crept over his lips.

Lacing his fingers together nervously, Remus hoped this was as easy as he had thought it would be. "Well, you know the Ancient Runes exam is coming up, and well, maybe we could, oh, I don't know…maybe go over the material together? I mean, it's not like you need help on it or anything; you are one of the top four in our class, and the top of the Slytherins…oh, or maybe you wouldn't want to because Gryffindors and Slytherins don't really study to…gether…"

Lupin trailed off when Snape let out a small snicker. He cursed at himself silently; that had sounded so completely un-Remus. He never rambled like that….now, he was sure there was no chance of them getting to know each other. Remus scowled down embarrassedly at the leaves, waiting for some sort of ridiculing reply.

"Yes, I'd like that."

This once more surprised Remus, but he smiled nonetheless. "All right, how about tomorrow, around four, in the library?"

"That sounds fine."

—The Next Day—

"Haha, I guess it's no surprise, but you're bloody brilliant, Severus." Remus said, pulling his knees closer to his chest. "It's like you have the whole bloody textbook memorized!"

The school day had seemed to drag out more so than normal; between missing Sirius, James glaring at him, Peter not understanding Charms, and waiting for the rendezvous in the library, it was nearly unbearable for Remus. But now the two sat in the back of the library; the place where the bookworms usually went to study, both curled up in overstuffed armchairs. The chairs faced a medium sized oak table, littered with Ancient Rune textbooks and parchment. They had bewitched a small lantern to hover about three feet above the table, lighting up the surrounding area.

Severus gave a feeble smile, closing one of the books. "No, it's nothing like that…I just have a lot of time on my hands."

Frowning, Remus looked between the other boy and the books on the table. "I'm sorr—"

"Oh for Merlin's sake, stop apologizing, Lupin. If you make a mistake, of course, apologize. But these things aren't really your fault. You're not the one who should be sorry." Snape pressed his lips into a pale, thin line before speaking again. "And I've—" He hesitated, unsure whether he should finish his sentence. However, when he looked back up to the honey-eyed blonde, he at last stammered "I-I've enjoyed the time here today. It's n-nice."

Remus smiled, tilting his head up against the back of the cushion. "Then we should go to Hogsmeade this weekend."

"Don't do me any favors, Lupin. I understand I'm nothing like Black."

"No…" Lupin began, suddenly trailing off into more inaudible mumbling.

Severus sighed, leaning back in his chair. "Oh for Merlin's sake, out with it already…!"

"I want to go with you because I _want_ to!" As soon as the words came out of his mouth, a brilliant shade of scarlet flushed into his cheeks.

This response seemed to take Snape one step further in his astonishment. After a moment of sitting there, gaping at Remus, he finally blinked back into reality. "D-Do…do you really?"

"Yes…" Lupin said softly, still blushing. 'This is strange,' he thought, feeling the warmth in his cheeks. 'I've never acted like this around anyone…except…well, Sirius…but I guess I've learned not to show it anymore…'

A smile crept across Snape's lips, as he began to nod. "All right, then we'll go. I need to get some supplies from the apothecary anyways."

"Yeah…" Remus was glowing, looking completely at ease. "Oh!" Sitting up a start, the book in his lap clattered to the floor. "I have to go see Sirius…" He rubbed the back of his neck looking slightly embarrassed. "Um, yeah…I had a good time too. I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked, gathering up his books and some of the parchment mess.

Severus blinked a few times, standing as well. "Hmm? You want to study again?"

Laughing, Remus shook his head. "No, I meant I'll see you tomorrow, in class."

"Oh…" This brought a faint blush to Snape's pale cheeks. "Oh, yes, of course…see you."

Waving before he scampered out of the library, Remus smiled to himself, despite his thoughts. 'I wish Sirius would wake up soon…I hope he'll be all right with this…' He sighed aloud. 'Who am I kidding? Of course he won't…' _Of course_ Sirius would be upset if he knew his best friend was associating with the person he hated most.

—That Sunday—

"Are you going to eat that?" Remus asked, eyeing Severus' bar of chocolate.

Severus laughed, nodding his head. "Yes, I'm going to eat this. Merlin, Lupin…you've already eaten half of your bag," he said, nodding towards the bag of Honeyduke's chocolate in Remus' arm. "And now you want to eat mine?"

Biting down on the end of his finger, Remus frowned, nudging Severus' elbow with his own. "But—…oh wait! What's that??" Remus asked eagerly, pointing to the other side of the row of shops.

"Hmm?" Severus turned his head, too distracted to feel the bar of chocolate slip out of his hand. After a moment, he looked back to Remus. "What? I didn't— Remus!" Snape looked between Remus, who was once more eating chocolate, and his own empty hand.

Remus stuck out his tongue, before finishing off the rest of the bar. "What?" He asked innocently, licking the tips of his fingers.

"You really like that don't you?"

Laughing, the smaller boy asked "What makes you think that?" He smiled, "Think of it as a late birthday present to me."

"It was your birthday? When?"

Remus smiled, tucking a stray strand of hair behind his ear. "March nineteenth."

"Oh, then that wasn't that long ago…" Severus smiled and nodded. "All right, fine. Happy belated Birthday."

—During the Week; Wednesday—

The days seemed to go by quicker and with ease, now that Remus had found a friend in Severus. It had been about two weeks since Snape had started talking to him. The routine for Remus' day became almost like clockwork. Class. Class with Severus. More class. Study during lunch. Another class. Study with Snape. And, of course, visit Sirius. Remus was almost completely content with it. He just wished Sirius would wake up.

Having made it through his morning classes, Remus sat at the Gryffindor table, letting the feather of his quill tap on the table, while nibbling on a small sandwich. He had almost finished writing his advanced potions paper, when Peter came scuttling up to him, panting.

"Remus! Remus!"

Glancing up, Remus' face suddenly flooded with worry; he frowned. "What is it?"

After he had caught his breath, Peter smiled. "Pad-Padfoot woke up."

"Sirius!" Without hesitation, Remus stood, dashing off to the infirmary. Out of breath, he doubled over at the door, his face flushed from running up several flights of stairs.

"Moony…?"

The boy looked up, his breathing heavy, searching for the owner of the voice. "S-Sirius!" Despite his body screaming for rest, he urged himself onward, making his way towards Sirius' bed. "Oh my God, Sirius…" Having basically flung himself down on the next to his friend, he took Sirius' face in his hands, resting his forehead on the other boy's. "I'm so sorry…"

Sirius patted Remus' shoulder, letting his hand rest there, and smiled. "Oh, Moony, Moony, Moony…don't apologize." He laughed, adding "Just don't ever do that again."

Letting his eyes close, Remus smiled. Just being near him, and hearing his voice, it was so relieving. He relaxed more against Sirius, whispering "Of course."

Remus had decided to skip out on the rest of the day's classes; he was too busy fretting over Sirius and filling him in on everything that had happened since the accident. Everything, that is, except Severus. It was long past five; much later than he had originally planned to meet his Slytherin friend. And it was only then the thought occurred to him.

"Bloody hell!" Remus stood up so fast his head had collided with Sirius'. "Ow! Ugh…I'm sorry, Sirius! I have to go; I'll come see you tomorrow!"

"Remus!" Sirius called after him, rubbing his head. "Where are you going?!"

Ignoring the question, Remus yelled another brief apology at the infirmary door, and then dashed off again; this time towards the library. While climbing the flights of stairs, Remus frowned. 'Oh, I hope he won't be upset with me…damn. Of course he'll be upset! I was with Sirius!' He slowed his pace when reaching the library door. Wasn't that the way things always seemed to go? Making friends with people that his other friends hated… _Lovely_.

The librarian gave a brief wave and pointed towards the back looking slightly concerned.

Remus gave an apologetic frown, reaching the back to see Severus in his usual armchair. Still frowning, he finally managed to steal the other's attention away from the book in his hands. "Severus…" He began softly, squeezing his other hand. "Umm, I'm sorry…I lost track of time…y-you see, during lunch Peter came and told me Sirius came to. So I've been with him…I'm really sorry…really, I am." Quieting, he noticed that Severus had only looked at him once, and then returned to his book, looking genuinely hurt; the kind of hurt that Remus often had seen behind Snape's mask of anger and disgust. "Severus…" He said after a few minutes. He then laid his fingertips on the top of the book, pushing it flat onto Severus' lap. "Please say something…"

Snape's jade eyes narrowed into a soft glare as his gaze finally met Lupin's. "What do you want me to say?" He asked flatly, his voice cool, with the hint of the familiar venom to it.

"I-I don't know…but I am sorry."

"As you've already told me." Severus lifted his book again, continuing to read. But seeing Remus still standing in front of him made him look up once more and frown. "What? Why aren't you with your precious Black?"

An irritated look spread across Remus' face as his fists clenched and his eyes narrowed. "Would you stop that? Even though you've tried to hide it, you think I'm doing you some favor by hanging around you, don't you? Can't I just be your friend? Is there something _wrong_ with that, Severus? Because I'm friends with Sirius, James, and Peter, does that mean I can't be your friend as well? All right! Fine, I admit it; yes! I'm ecstatic that Sirius is awake and well! But just because my old friends are back, doesn't mean I plan to throw away my new ones! Didn't the last few weeks mean _anything_ to you?? Do you take me for some one that superficial?? Does it occur to you that maybe some one actually wants to be your friend?!"

Severus looked taken aback at Remus' sudden outburst; from what he had always seen was a calm, collected Lupin. Yet here he was, flustered, yelling, and upset. Snape had always envied Remus for the mask of calm he always wore; and often wondered if there was any way some one could ever break it. And it looked like he of all people had managed to be the first to put a crack in it. He set his book down, standing, so he was towering over the smaller boy. His eyes narrowed, but his frown turned into a grin. "I'm sorry, Remus." He said coolly, his tone carrying a playful tease to it.

Still flustered, and now more relaxed, the shorter boy let his fist hit Severus' arm. "Augh! I hate you!" A small laugh escaped him as he collapsed in his own chair. "That's _all _you have to say?!" He asked, a pouting smile playing at his lips.

"That was quite the tirade you gave…" Severus said, sitting back down.

Remus blushed, his eyes falling to the floor. "Haha, yeah…I'm not really sure where that came from." He looked back up, matching Severus' gaze. "But it's all true. I'm here, right now, because I want to be. Really."

Snape smiled, leaning back. "All right, Lupin, but you owe me a butterbeer."

—Sunday—

Another four days had passed; rolling around to another Sunday, which meant another trip to Hogsmeade.

Things between Lupin and Snape became better; and once more, they planned another trip to Honeyduke's. The only slight damper on their friendship—in Snape's opinion— was the return of Sirius Black.

Sirius had wormed his way out of the infirmary, and was back in action the day after he had gained consciousness; Padfoot had insisted that one day of being trapped in that room was enough. This being the case, he hand once more joined his rightful place among the Marauders, surrounding himself with his best friends, and many, many, concerned female students. They asked him so many questions and Sirius couldn't seem to get enough of the attention.

However, Remus wasn't exactly thrilled to have Sirius stolen away so often, yet he somehow managed to turn his jealousy into relief. While Sirius was busy soaking up attention, he found time to be stolen away by Severus— without the others noticing.

This Sunday in early April was warmer, compared to the normal chilly, rainy temperature of the month. Remus figured he would be all right with just his scarf, and gloves, just for safe measures.

Having retrieved his scarf, Remus wandered into the dorm bathroom, scanning his reflection. He scowled, shaking his head, in hopes of making his mop of honey colored hair not as flat. It was when he had stopped golden-amber eyes fell upon one of the several scars that littered his face. From spending time with Severus, he had begun to notice them more. Snape had asked about them once, to which Remus promptly lied, saying it had been some hippogriff accident. The scars hadn't really bothered him before, but now he saw the scars as grotesque and ugly. He ran a finger over one of them, a sigh parting his lips.

"Oi! Moony!"

The voice made him jump, as he turned to see Sirius standing in the doorway.

"…what the hell are you doing?" Sirius asked after a moment, then shook his head and held up his hand. "Wait a minute, never mind. Are you almost ready to go?"

Remus blinked a few times, the question catching him off guard. "Go? Go where?"

Quirking a brow, Sirius replied "Hogsmeade…remember? We go there every weekend…?"

"Oh…yes, of course…" Frowning, the shorter of the two looked to the ground, wringing his hands nervously. "Umm, well, actually…I was planning on going with some one else. Sorry…I guess I forgot to tell you." With that, Remus took a few steps forward, trying to leave the bathroom.

"What's this?" Sirius asked, barring the doorway with his arm. "So, I'm knocked unconscious for three weeks, and now my bloody best mate has something else to do with some one else? Am I getting this straight?"

Remus frowned. "It's not like that…I mean, it is…but we've had this planned since before you came to…"

Taking a step forward, Sirius bore down at Remus, their bodies almost touching. "Oh. So, this some one else is your new best mate, is he? Oh, I see."

"Sirius…don't…"

"Why not, Remus?"

"I-I just—"

"You just what? Thought that because I was out cold, why not get a new friend? Is that it?"

A scowl flashed over Lupin's face as he finally found his resolve. He shoved Sirius away from him, folding his arms. "What more was I supposed to do? I almost killed you and I, sure as bloody hell, wanted to die too! What if you _had_ died? Did it occur to you that I couldn't live without you, Sirius?! I couldn't have lived with myself! Hell, he's the bloody reason I'm still here! All I have in life is you, James, and Peter…I've almost lost all of that…what would I have had to live for?!"

Now, it was Sirius' turn to be taken aback at Remus' flustered form. He had _never_ heard him go off like that. Sure, he had chided, objected, and lectured the rest of them…but this was definitely a first. "R-Remus…I—"

"Just don't! I'm not even good enough for you! Friends don't almost kill each other!" And with that, Remus brushed around Sirius, looking as flustered as ever.

—Later—

"Remus…hey, Remus," Severus nudged him with his elbow. "Are you listening?" After a moment of no response, Severus waved a bar of chocolate in front of his face. Still no response. "Oh, my bloody hell! The end of the world is here! Remus isn't taking the chocolate!"

At last, the glassy look in Remus' eyes faded away as he finally glanced towards the other. "Hmm? What did you say?"

"Remus…what's with you? You're acting more spacey than normal."

Laughing, the younger of the two asked "Am I?"

Snape nodded, once more offering the bar of chocolate, which Remus happily took. "Does this have to do with Black? Has he gone and upset you again?"

"I don't know…" Lupin mumbled, half-shrugging. "We just got into a little row about…well, it's really not that it was over anything important, but it still bothers me…"

"I'm sure it'll turn out all right. You worry too much." Severus clasped his hand on the shorter boy's shoulder, giving it a slight squeeze. Brightening, he added "And besides, there's no time to be upset! You still owe me a butterbeer!"

Lupin smiled. "Of course, I haven't forgotten!"

—Elsewhere—

"Oh, yeah, Lily? Well, go ahead; I'll wait out here…" James sighed, trudging to a stop, halting Sirius and Peter as well. "How can girls stand to look at all of that frilly stuff?" He asked, glancing over at Sirius. "Oi…Padfoot? What's wrong?"

Sirius looked up, trying to smile. "Eh, it's just I had a bit of a row with Moony."

"Oh." James said flatly, still not on good speaking terms with Remus.

The red head suddenly poked her head out of the shop's doorway, quickly scanning the small group. "Where's Remus?"

Sirius quirked a brow, looking at Lily. "He said he was meeting with some one else…why?"

Lily frowned a little, obviously not enjoying delivering her answer. "Some one was just talking about seeing him with Severus…"

The other two Marauders shot a quick glance at Sirius before looking towards the ground. "I-I'm sure that's not true. Moony's smarter than that. Besides, that's just like girls to go starting up some totally unbelievable rumor." Sirius sneered, looking over to James. "And it looks like your girlfriend's fallen for it."

"Sirius!" Lily said, looking incredulous and stomping her foot.

James laughed. "Well, he's right!"

Folding her arms irritably across her chest, Lily's eyes narrowed on her new boyfriend. "James Potter! Sometimes I don't even know why I decided to date you!"

"No, wait! Lily!"

—Later—

The trip ended, everyone returning to the castle, laughing and showing off purchases; every one was in an overall pleasant mood. Or at least, that's what Sirius and Remus led the others to believe. Despite their façades, the only thing on either of their minds was the fight.

Remus was undoing his shirt buttons when Sirius walked into the room, leaning onto the doorframe. "Hey…" He said softly, stormy gray eyes daring a glance at the other.

"Hello." The other replied flatly, not looking up. But something in his mind was vividly aware that Sirius was there; his hands remained on the button, his cheeks growing warm.

"Remus…look, about earlier…I'm sorry. I don't know what was with me…" He rubbed the back of his neck, giving an apologetic grin. Sirius pushed himself off of the doorway, taking a few strides over to the shorter boy.

Turning around, Remus frowned, still blushing. "You don't take me seriously, do you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean exactly what I said…you don't get it, Sirius!" He said, just below a yell. Remus let the sides of his fists hit Sirius in the chest, his head following suit. Staring at the ground, his fingers clung to Sirius' shirt, pulling the latter towards him. His voice dropped to a whisper, "I was really, really scared…"

Sirius' face softened, wrapping his arms around the blonde. "It's all okay, Remus…I won't go dying on you. I won't let you be alone…" He ruffled the honey colored hair before gently prying the other off his shirt. "But we have that advanced potions test tomorrow." He gave Remus' hand a small, reassuring squeeze before heading towards the door. "So, get a good night's sleep, okay?" With that, he left the room, heading towards his own dorm.

"S-Sirius!" Remus called after him, then running to catch up. Throwing his arms around the other's torso, he once more buried his head in Sirius' chest. "Promise me…" He muttered feebly.

Smiling, he rested his chin on Remus' head. "Don't worry, I promise."

—The Next Morning—

"Good morning, sunshine!" Sirius called out in a sing-song voice, bounding onto Remus' bed. "It's time for breakfast! Then the test!" He grabbed Remus' cheeks, pulling on them. "Remussss, get your lazy ass up!"

"No…" Remus moaned, trying to swat away Sirius' hands from his face before finally rolling over and pulling the blanket up, over his head. "Five more minutes…"

After much coaxing and a good shove off the bed, Padfoot had managed to get Moony out of his sleepy state.

While Remus was dressing, Sirius remained perched on the edge of the bed, already in uniform.

"You know, you didn't have to shove me…" Remus mumbled, adjusting his tie in the reflection of the mirror. "I'm going to turn a horrid black and blue, and people will ask 'Oh Remus! Who on earth has beaten you so?' and I will reply, with added gusto, I might add, 'My abuser is none other than my best mate, Sirius Black!' See? Then you'll be harassed even more than normal." Remus glanced over his shoulder, giving a playful smile.

This was returned with a small smile from Sirius before he pulled his legs into an Indian-style sitting position. The smile suddenly faded as he looked to the ground. "Remus…?"

"Yes?"

"You wouldn't ever…uhm…well, replace me with Snivellus, would you?" Sirius looked up at Remus, looking almost concerned.

Golden-amber eyes widened, taking in the concerned look. "Si-Sirius…what on earth made you think that…?"

"Yesterday…we heard from one of Lily's friends…I mean, I know you probably wouldn't do something like that…but the way you blew up in my face. I-I just…I wondered."

Lupin shook his head, walking over to Sirius, taking his face in his hands. "I could never replace you." Grinning and pulling on his cheeks, he added "And I can't believe you would ever think that!"

"Augh, Moony!!" Sirius pulled away, and then swept Remus up, swinging him over his shoulder. "I'm going to feed you to the Lake Monster!"

Laughing, the smaller of the two lightly hit Sirius on the back. "No! You can't! I'll fail the test!"

"Merlin forbid!" Sirius laughed as well, still toting Remus over his shoulder. "But we need to do something together. Like another Quidditch lesson for you and Peter! After all, the full moon is tomorrow. So, we need to tire the normal Moony out."

Remus smiled, still draped over Sirius's shoulder. "All right. But Sirius…?"

"What?"

"Are you planning on carrying me to breakfast like this?"

"Of course I am. What gave you the impression that I'd let you down?"

Laughing, Remus shook his head, mumbling "Nothing."

—Later—

"O-Okay," Remus panted, waving a brief goodbye to the others. "I'll see you later."

James and Sirius had decided to show Remus and Peter little mercy, despite either of the latter knowing much about the game…or flying for that matter. Peter had fallen off his broom, yet luckily, James had grabbed him about ten feet before hitting the ground. Remus, on the other hand, hadn't been quite so lucky. He had somehow managed to fly into a tree, getting scrapped and bruised along the way. They had ended around five; which Remus thought couldn't have been more perfectly timed. He was supposed to meet Severus at half past the hour.

When Remus walked into the library, the librarian and a few students let out small gasps, seeing his appearance. After the so called Quidditch practice—and flying into a tree—Remus basically looked a mess. His tie hung loosely around his neck, while his white shirt was partially unbuttoned and un-tucked. A scratch on his cheek hadn't stopped bleeding, leaving thin streams of blood down to his jaw line in its wake. His hair was a windblown mess, complete with a few leaves and twigs. A laugh was the only reply the onlookers received, as Remus went on his way, towards the back of the library.

One look around the area told him he was early, so he plopped himself down in his usual armchair. He hung his legs over one arm, using the other to prop his upper body up. Only a few minutes had passed when Lupin finally spotted Severus.

And apparently Snape had finally looked up to see Remus, because he dropped his books and gasped. "Merlin, Remus! What the hell happened to you??" A few quick strides had him next to Remus, and he then pulled the younger of the two to his feet. "Are you all right??"

Remus nodded, smiling. "Of course I'm all right; I just flew into a tree, that's all."

"You flew into a tree?"

"Don't look so worried, Severus…its okay. I'm still alive aren't I? I may be a genius when it comes to magic, but flying a broom? I'm clueless."

"You were flying? On a broom?"

Remus nodded, sticking his hands in his pockets. "Yes, James and Sirius keep insisting it's something I have to learn."

Severus frowned, pulling a leaf out of the mop of honey colored hair before him. "But why? It's dangerous, Remus. I mean, look at you." He used his thumb to wipe the small rivulets of blood off of his cheek before pulling another twig out of his hair.

Frowning, Lupin wiped his cheek with the back of his hand. "I'm fine. Severus, please don't be so worried. Sirius won't let anything bad happen to me." Remus had spoke before he had thought; quickly regretting the words he had just uttered.

The frown became a scowl and Snape's fists clenched. "It's always about Sirius, isn't it? Merlin, Remus! What the hell do you see in him anyways? Do you really believe he can protect you all the time?!"

Golden-amber eyes fell to the floor as he mumbled out some small, inaudible reply. What was he supposed to say? He saw everything in Sirius; his flaws, his strengths, his one-of-a-kind personality. And he loved all of it. Yet, there was no way he could tell Severus this, or anyone— especially Sirius— for that matter.

However, while the shorter boy was lost in his thoughts, they were interrupted by lips crushing into his own. Remus found himself looking up at Severus, who had also taken his face in his hands. When the other pulled away, Lupin was left flustered, blushing, and breathless.

"Now," Severus whispered, his face only inches from Lupin's. "Tell me that meant something to you…"

Still flustered, Remus blinked, eyes darting across the other's face, looking for some trace of sincerity. But, being caught in the rush of the moment, he leaned forward, sending his lips right back at Severus'. His fingers grasped just below the collar of Snape's shirt, trying to bring him closer. A shiver coursed through Remus' body as he felt Severus' tongue slip into his mouth, connecting with his own.

The next thing he knew his body was colliding with the bookshelf behind him. A small moan parted his lips, allowing himself a chance to draw breath before Severus once again smothered his face with kisses. Remus gasped as he felt a hand snaking up, under his shirt, towards his chest, fingertips tracing lightly over the pale scars. "S-Severus…" He whispered, placing a hand on the other's torso, part of him wishing for him to continue. "We…we c-can't…"

"Why not?" Snape asked, smirking as he felt Remus shudder under his touch. His lips brushed Lupin's neck, trailing up to his jaw line. "You like it…" He whispered, gently kissing bruised lips.

Remus' face was a magnificent shade of red, knowing Severus was completely right. He did like this. As wrong as it might have been, Remus _loved_ this. And that was when in the back of his mind, that little voice reminded him this was why Severus was a Slytherin; persistent, manipulating, and right.

Another groan parted his lips, as Severus began grinding his hips into his own; Remus in response arched his back, pushing his body farther into that of his Slytherin counterpart. This seemed to please Severus just as much as it had Remus because Snape let out a low moan, sending chills up the younger boy's spine.

But something had caught his eye. Something that Remus automatically regretted seeing. Golden-amber eyes widened, his expression becoming nearly blank.

"S-Sirius…"

Snape raised his head, turning to look at Remus, following his gaze to a stark white Sirius Black. He remained where he was, however, jade eyes narrowed into a glare. Now that Remus was his, Snape had no intention of returning him. His gaze was only broken when he felt the smaller boy quaking against him.

"I'm going to fucking kill you…" Sirius said in a low growl, taking a step towards the two. There was definitely a storm brewing in the now hateful eyes, which were locked on Snape.

Before either of the two had a chance to draw their wands, Remus stepped between them. His face was unreadable, but his golden eyes were pleading for forgiveness. "Sirius, please…leave him alone…"

Turning his glare towards Remus, his face changed, looking hurt, yet his voice remained angry. "Why, Remus?! Do you even remember what you told me this morning?! Or do you just enjoy going behind peoples' backs and lying to them?!"

"N-No…it's just, I—"

Remus was cut off by a stream of orange whizzing past him, hitting Sirius square in the chest, sending him straight back into another bookshelf. He had let out a yelp as he had hit it, falling to the floor with a dull thud. "Sirius!" Remus cried out, watching in despair; he then wheeled around, glaring at Severus. "What did you do?! Why did you do that?!"

Not a word escaped Snape's lips as he turned his head, trying to avoid Remus' gaze.

Turning around once more, Remus strode over to Sirius who was grimacing, one of his hands held to his head. "S-Sirius…what's wrong? Are you all right?" He had knelt down, tenderly running a hand over part of Sirius' forehead.

"Don't touch me, Lupin." Sirius spat, slapping away the other's hand. In a mere moment, wand was in his hand, pointed at Snape. "Stupefy!"

Cringing and shutting his eyes, Moony tried to not hear the thud of Severus hitting the ground. He knew well enough, any of Sirius' spells were enough to knock some one unconscious if he was angry enough. Why couldn't he just stop this? He sighed deeply; somewhere deep down, he already knew the answer— he never wanted to lose his friends, and would never get in their way to keep them. Quietly, Remus stood, turning his back towards Snape, pulling his wand from his robes, whispering "Rennervate." He reached the Slytherin boy as he was sitting up, rubbing the back of his head. "I'm so sorry…" Moony said softly, extending Severus his hand.

Severus took it, standing mostly on his own. He shot a glare at Sirius before turning back to Remus. "I've told you, you have no need to apologize to me…" Almost lovingly, he brushed some of the honey colored hair out of the shorter boy's eyes, giving a soft smile. "Are you all right?"

Nodding, Remus' gaze fell to the floor, silently cursing himself for being so careless.

The next thing either of them knew, Sirius' fist was heading straight for Severus' face.

"No!"

Fist collided with flesh, Sirius hitting the other square in the jaw. But it wasn't who he had meant to hit. Remus was sent toppling back into Snape, who immediately, instinctively, wrapped his arms him, before the two of them hit up against the book shelf, sending a rain of books down upon them.

Remorse flashed across gray eyes before he once more gained his spiteful expression. "Whatever, Lupin." He spat, before turning around, wanting to get out of the library as quickly as he could. When he had exited, his shoulders drooped as he slumped up against a wall. 'Oh my god…I just…I just—…' He looked at his fist, watching his knuckles turn a deeper shade of pink. 'Oh, Merlin…Moony…why?' He shoved off the wall, biting down on his lip, out of pure frustration. Sirius scowled as he felt the coppery taste of blood seep into his mouth. Having lost most of his self control, he balled up his fist, punching the stone wall in front of him. "Damn it!!"

"Remus, please…are you all right? Let me see your jaw…"

The Gryffindor was still locked in Severus' embrace, shaking his head, his face buried in the other's chest. Remus was still in disbelief…Sirius must _hate_ him. 'Oh, God…what have I done?' He thought, finally looking up into concerned, jade green eyes. Moony watched as Snape's expression chanced, he was frowning, his fingers gliding over the bruised, swollen jaw that he had been kissing only minutes before; kisses that Remus had more than glad to receive. What was the boy to do? Perhaps, there was a small flicker of hope in Severus after all. Remus reached up, brushing Severus' cheek lightly. "Please don't frown. I will be okay." Trying to smile, he tip-toed up, kissing the corner of Snape's lips.

This, of course, brought a smile to pale lips, which then kissed the shorter boy's forehead. "You are my hero. Now, I'll clean up things around here, you should go get the nurse to go have your jaw looked at." He said, finally releasing the smaller boy from his grasp.

"A-All right…" Sure, he would go, but to the infirmary? No. In his mind, he didn't deserve to have this healed with magic. This was how Sirius had felt; this was what he had done. Remus gave a weak smile as he turned to leave. 'I deserved it…'


	3. Kiss and Make Up, Fight and Break Up

Seeing Remus' swollen jaw the next morning was almost enough to drive Sirius mad. Why hadn't he gone to the nurse to get it fixed? Padfoot had spent the entire morning glaring down at his knuckles' torn skin. How on earth could he have done that to Remus? He knew how hard he could hit…he had heard how hard he had hit. That sickening crack had kept him up all night; nothing but the same repeated scene of Remus moving in front of Snape, then the crack of his jaw. To make matters worse, there was no outlet for apology. Remus had not shown up the entire night. Sirius was left tossing and turning, hearing the crack of the blonde's jaw and staring at his empty bed. Needless to say, it had been a long night for Sirius Black. 'And it's all Snivellus' fault…' He thought once more biting down on his lip.

Finally, around lunch, James finally broke Sirius' silence. "Merlin, Padfoot! Are you still alive?" James knocked on his friend's head before shaking him by the shoulders. "Are we still going to the Shrieking Shack tonight? You haven't said a word to Moony all morning…"

"Hmm? Oh…" That was when the idea hit him. A broad, malicious grin spread across his lips as he looked up at James. "Of course we're going. I wouldn't miss it for the world."

—Elsewhere—

"Huh? What's this…?" Severus whispered softly, looking down at the note paper plane that had flown over to him. "'Want to know Remus' Secret?' What _is_ this?" Jade green eyes finished scanning the paper; at last he looked up with a sense of resolve.

—Later—

"Remus…" Peter asked, looking towards the boy. "Are you ready? It's almost time…"

A sigh was the first reply Pettigrew received, and shortly following, the sound of the dull thud of Remus' head hitting the wooden wall behind him. "Do I have a choice?" He didn't need Peter to tell him that it was almost time; he could feel it. The sick feeling he always got before the Full Moon had set in some time the night before, leaving him tossing and turning on the common room couch until morning. And not to mention, the constant throbbing of his jaw was beginning to wear on his nerves; damn his stubbornness.

Sirius grinned to himself before turning back to Moony. While he watched with a sort of apologetic concern, he noted that Remus refused to look at him. He was surprised that Remus hadn't flat out forbade him from coming.

Remus had winced, which immediately caused him to frown. The first part of the transformation had always got to him. Hearing Remus yell out in pain…he wished there was some way he could he help him shoulder it.

"Nnn-ahhh!" Remus grimaced as the transformation had grabbed hold of him. As his golden eyes misted over with pain, he still saw the same thing, just like every month. All of his friends turning away, cringing to the sound of his flesh ripping and tearing. But this time, as his consciousness was slowly beginning to slip, something else caught his eye. "Severus! Gaaah! G-Get—ahhhhh! O-Out!" He begged through gritted teeth. 'No…not again…please, God…not him too…'

It was Remus' last conscious thought before he once more succumbed to the wolf within him.

"Snape?! Damn it, move!" James shouted knocking over the stool he had been sitting on when he had stood.

But the warning had come late; a massive claw came slashing down across Severus' chest, sending him to the floor with a sickening flood.

Sirius sat, glued to the spot, watching the horrible scene unfold before him. Was this really worth doing? He swore as he came to help James move all of them out of the Shrieking Shack. 'Oh, God, Remus…I'm sorry.'

—A Few Days Later—

Walking into potions that morning only seemed to irritate Remus, despite his usual calm façade. He couldn't place his finger on it, but there was something definitely amiss. It had only occurred to him, half way through brewing the potion he was working on, that he should probably go apologize to Severus for what had happened in the library. He smiled to himself, already knowing how the Slytherin would react. He'd get this frustrated look on his face, before saying something like "Haven't you got it through your head yet?! Stop apologizing! You don't need to!" After finishing stirring the potion twice clockwise, Remus looked up, glancing around for his friend.

But Severus Snape was no where to be seen.

His face blanched, immediately looking at Sirius. Shakily, he took a step forward, catching Sirius' attention. "W-Where's Severus…?"

The others Marauders looked between the two, too afraid to say anything.

After a moment of not receiving an answer, the blonde took another step forward. "_Where_ is he?"

At this, Sirius glanced away. There was no way he could tell him what had happened the night before. Well, all right, he probably _could_ tell him, but that would lead to Remus finding out that blindly lead Snape to the Shrieking Shack had been his idea.

"Look at me!" Remus shouted shakily, pointing his wand at Sirius' throat, earning curious glances their way. "What did you do to him?!"

Stormy gray eyes narrowed on the tip of the wand before looking down the shaft into furious golden eyes. "I didn't do anything to him," he said, sounding surprisingly calm.

"Don't lie to me, Sirius! Where is he?!"

"I'm not lying! He's in the hospital wing after what _you_ did to him!" Sirius replied in a hushed whisper, immediately regretting his choice of words. He watched, stunned, as Remus staggered backwards, his chest heaving in and out in alarm.

Remus' eyebrows were knitted together, his expression completely dismal. "Oh God…n-no…did I?" He asked aloud, more directed at himself than at Sirius. He staggered back once more, stumbling into a table. "No…n-not again!" Without a moment's hesitation, Remus had burst out of the dungeon doors, not wanting to be anywhere else but next to Severus.

—About Two Weeks Later—

The days passed slowly, wearing on to weeks. Each of those passing days, Remus grew thinner and thinner, his attendance in class beginning to dwindle. All he did was sit there in that damned infirmary, holding onto Snape's bandaged hand.

And Sirius Black couldn't stand it.

Every day after class, lunch, or whenever he got the chance, Sirius often headed towards the hospital wing himself, silently checking up on Remus.

When, at last, he couldn't stand it any longer, Sirius strode into the infirmary, hands shoved deep in his pockets, his head held high. "Moony…" He frowned when the other hadn't looked up. "Hey…Remus." After closer inspection, he let a sigh of relief; it looked like he had only fallen asleep.

Despite his relief, Sirius couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy that went coursing through his chest. The two of them looked like they had been made for each other, just so they could have shared that moment in the library. Just so they could be sleeping there together, right then. But why him? That was what Sirius wanted to know…out of all the people Remus could have befriended, why Snivellus? Looking at Snape's bandaged form made him scowl. 'None of this even makes sense!' Sirius thought, scooping Remus up from the chair. 'Why is he wasting away for _him_?!' Leaving the sick room made the eighteen year old feel a little better, as a thought occurred to him. Had Remus been this vigilant when it had been him lying on the bed? Had he come every day like he was doing now for Snape?

Sirius could only hope the answer was yes; but all he could do now was try to get something into Remus' stomach. He wasn't about to let his best mate starve himself to death, not if he was able to do something about it.

—Later—

Amber eyes blinked open, finding that he was looking into terribly familiar gray ones. "Si-Sirius…?" He asked weakly, trying to ignore the dull, constant ache coming from his stomach.

"Hey." Sirius said softly, brushing some of Remus' hair off of his forehead.

The two were situated on Remus' bed, Sirius sitting up against the headrest, cradling Lupin's head on a pillow situated on his lap.

"Where…where am I?"

"You're back in your room."

Remus sat up with a start, trying to ignore the swaying feeling from the sudden loss of blood. "W-What? Why?!" He turned to Sirius, demanding the answer.

Frowning, Sirius let his head fall back on the wood of the headboard. "Good God, Remus…you're starving yourself to death, all over _poor_ Snivellus."

Remus' jaw dropped as the words fell into place, the connection clicking in his mind. "You…it was you! You lead him there?! God, Sirius! What the hell were you thinking?!" His voice quivered, his eyes beginning to mist. "I-I almost killed him! I know you hate him, but I didn't think you wanted him dead! Why did you use me to do that?! Do you even realize the jeopardy you put all of us in?! Why, Sirius?!" Remus grabbed the collar of Sirius' shirt, shaking him slightly.

"Why?! Because of _him_! You two might have well been fucking each other!" Taking Remus' shirt in his own fist, he glared down at the other boy.

"It's not like that!"

"Well, it certainly looked like that! And it sure as hell looked like you were enjoying it!"

"Maybe I wouldn't have had to if maybe it had been you instead!" Remus had let go of the shirt, shoving Sirius back into the headboard. He turned away, feeling a few angry tears spill down his bright red cheeks.

Sirius was stunned. No way. He couldn't have heard him right. "W-What?" He asked, stammering.

"You heard what I said, Sirius…" Remus muttered meekly, wrapping his arms about his frail torso. He shuddered as he felt Sirius' arms wrap around his own.

"Why…why didn't you tell me…?" He asked softly, his forehead resting against Moony's back.

"Because you wouldn't have taken me seriously…"

He lifted his head, then asking "And what about Snape?"

"…I…I like him, Sirius." Remus turned, his eyes downcast, the confession already putting him at the farthest edges of nervousness. "But…it comes no where near to how I feel about you…"

Taking Remus' hand with his own, he took his chin with the other. "Oh, Remus…I had no idea…God, I've been so stupid! I-I don't know what to do…"

"Then just kiss me…" Remus whispered, staring Sirius straight in the eye.

A smile crossed his lips, somehow gracefully maneuvering around so the blonde was lying underneath him. Sirius smirked, seeing the younger one blush. "Don't worry, Moony. I won't hurt you." Nimble fingers quickly undid the buttons of the uniform shirt; but Sirius lost the grin on his face as his stormy eyes caught sight of the new scars on Remus' torso. "Oh…Remus." Tracing the outline of the old scars with his fingertips, Sirius suddenly found himself blushing after Remus had arched his back, sending his torso into his palm and his body further into his own. The grin returned, the tip of his tongue tracing his lips. "Now…" Leaning down, Sirius' moist lips pressed up against Remus' bare chest, causing the smaller boy to gasp and his eyes to close.

The next thing Remus felt, however, was a far cry from what he had expected. A warm tongue had licked his cheek, Sirius' hot breath caressing his face. "Sirius?"

That was when paws rested themselves on Remus chest, a happy bark followed, along with the characteristic wag of his shaggy black tail.

"Sirius Black," Remus said, laughing. "You always know the perfect way to ruin a moment." He pet the shaggy black dog before him, smiling.

Another bark came from the dog before once more regaining his human form; he was frowning, but nevertheless, still atop of Lupin. "Do I really? Well, we can't have that, now can we? I'll just have to make it up to you, Moony."

Remus blushed; having the dog Sirius laying on him, then Sirius laying on him…it was such a contrast. "You will, will you?"

"Oh, Moons, you sound so skeptical. Of course I'll make it up to you." A small twinkle flashed across his eyes as he grinned down at his friend. "If you'll let me, that is."

"What…what are you talking about?"

Sirius bit down on his own lip, raising his brows. A hand traveled to the top of Remus' pants, as he slipped his thumb under the khaki material, causing the latter to turn a brilliant shade of scarlet. He seemed to get the message. "So, what do you say, Lupin?"

Still that magnificent shade of red, the younger found himself unable to look away from Sirius' piercing eyes. "I-I don't know…"

Forcing the idea towards the back of his mind, he mentally slapped himself. It had taken the blonde all this time to just have confessed how he felt, and here he was, trying to swindle him into having sex. "It's all right," Sirius mumbled, sighing a little, before he rolled off of him. "Ha ha, my little Remus is growing up so fast!" He said in a mock-motherly tone.

Curling up next to him, Remus still managed to prop himself up on his elbow. "Hey, Sirius," he began, still slightly flustered, now scanning the other's face. "Can I ask you something?"

Nodding, Sirius turned to look at Remus. "Sure, mate."

"Were you really _that_ upset? I mean, your face, it was incredible. Ha ha, I thought you might even try to kill me!" The younger of the two smiled, rubbing at his jaw. "And you almost did a good job."

Wrinkling his nose, Sirius rolled himself over, so he was propped up on one of his elbows and gently shoved Remus down so he was back on his back, leaving his arm draped causally over the werewolf's stomach. "Like hell, I was upset! And worse yet, it was you and him of all people! And it's your own damned fault; you were the one who felt like playing hero! If you hadn't have moved, this wouldn't have happened."

Remus knew he was talking about his jaw, but he couldn't help but wonder. The moment they were in, right then, it wouldn't have happened if Remus hadn't stood in the way. "Hmm…then I'm glad I did." It was clear that Sirius had absolutely no idea as to where he was coming from, so he pressed a small kiss to the corner of Sirius' mouth.

Another grin crossed the Black boy's lips. He partially rolled back onto Remus, propped up with his elbows so their chests were resting on each other; their heartbeats playing some nonexistent symphony, Remus' beat steadily increasing. "I don't know why you're so…" He paused for a moment, searching for the right word. "Incredible." A playfully curious look then appeared on Sirius' face. "Like for one thing…"

It was like the planets had aligned when Sirius' lips had met his own. And it hadn't surprised him in the slightest when the other's tongue had set about exploring his mouth. After a moment, Sirius pulled back, apparently pleased.

The starry-eyed look in Remus' eyes was enough to send Sirius over the edge. Sure, there had been loads of girls he had kissed, but this was different. This was Remus. His best friend. And a boy, no less. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a voice nagged at him to out of that room; what would James and Peter think? Sirius promptly told the voice to shut the hell up; James and Peter didn't have to know. 'And besides,' he reasoned with the voice. 'Who else has felt so…so right when we've kissed them?' But that wasn't all. Oh no, not in the slightest. The innocence he had found in Remus over those short moments…he hadn't know behind the perfect marks, study skills, and the uncanny ability to always show everyone else up academically hid this pure, shy Remus. And now he had gone and put the boy through the mauling of two of his closest friends. Did Remus hold it against him?

"Sirius…"

The voice recalled him from his thoughts. "Yes?"

"What were you going to say?"

"Oh," he mumbled, a small laugh following. "It was just as I thought…"

One of Remus' brows quirked upward, a questioning look now on his face. "What?"

Planting another kiss on the smaller boy's lips, he smiled. "You taste like chocolate."

At the words, Remus beamed. Everything felt so…right. Telling Sirius had turned out much better than he had imagined; as was kissing him, making the moment all the more enjoyable.

A moment of silence had passed, the two boys lost in their own thoughts. At last, Sirius broke into it, his fingers winding their way through the honey blonde hair below him. "You know…after we graduate…I want to get a place to stay. Away from my family, right? I can't keep burdening the Potters."

"Good for you, Sirius. You're acting unusually responsib—"

"And," he interjected, cutting Remus off. "Maybe…you could move out of your parents' place, and come with live with me."

Blinking up at the gray eyes, he wondered how they could look so serious, so calm, and so pleading all at once. "M-Me?" He stammered, turning a deeper shade of red. "Why me? Wouldn't you rather stay somewhere with James? You two are closer…I'm sure he wouldn't mind, James would probably love to share a place with y—"

"Remus! I'm not asking James…I'm asking you." Sirius said, once more cutting the other boy off. The 'Changing the Subject' tactic usually worked on him when Remus had used it in the past, but now he found it vaguely irritating. "It's all right if you don't want to."

"I-…" After a moment of looking lost in thought, Remus finally grinned. "All right, on one condition: I will not be the only one to pay this thing off, got it?"

Sirius grinned as well as he kissed Remus' forehead. "I guess we'll have to see about that…"

About to protest, Remus' stomach suddenly growled menacingly, causing the blonde to go into a fit of blushing. "I-…s-sorry…"

A rich laugh escaped the Pure Blood as he got to his feet, offering Remus a hand. "Moony, don't you dare apologize, you have every right to be starving." He smiled as the blonde joined him. "How does a kitchen raid sound to you?"

"Absolutely brilliant."

—Two Days Later—

Two days had passed, and the two friends were once more spending every waking moment in the company of the other. Sirius was still the loud, flirtatious boy he had been, but he was hardly ever a few inches away from Remus. Remus was still the studious, quiet boy he had been, but he found himself under the constant presence of Sirius; the taller boy's arm often slung about his shoulders. No one said much of anything if they had noticed; however, James did take notice and immediately brought it to Lily's attention.

"Why are they like that, all of a sudden?"

Lily looked up at James, giving his hand a small squeeze. "It really shouldn't matter; they're friends again. Is that so terrible?"

"I-…no…but…"

"But what?"

"I don't know…ah, well. I guess then maybe it's just me." He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, kissing her cheek. "C'mon, let's go swipe some butterbeer from the kitchens."

—A Week or So Later—

"Why are we doing this again?" Sirius drawled, spread out in the armchair that Snape had usually occupied.

"Because you said you'd help me find this." Remus said, coming up behind the chair. In his right hand he held a medium sized maroon bound book, which he brought down on the top of Sirius' head. "Which, I'd like to remind you, you didn't actually do."

"Oww! It's not my fault! You know I don't like this place." He said sourly, rubbing the top of his head.

Remus frowned over the top of the chair, settling the book onto a nearby table. "I know…but you promised."

One of Padfoot's hands latched onto Moony's tie, pulling him down towards his face. "Don't look so damned upset…or I'll just have to go and cheer you up." He whispered, then letting his lips touch the other's momentarily. Remus had whimpered, apparently longing for more. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Sirius grinned, adding "Then prove it…"

Trying to snap out of his desire for more, Remus rolled his eyes. He was not about to stoop to begging. "Sirius Black, I will do no such t—mmph…"

Apparently Sirius was a tad bit more impatient that normal, because without waiting for proof, or whatever lecture he was about to receive, he had taken the smaller boy's face in his hands, plunging them both into a mind-numbing kiss.

There was a crash of a table being knocked over, shortly followed by an "Oh, good Lord!"

Remus and Sirius both pulled away, both turning a vivid shade of red. They were looking at Lily, who seemed just as embarrassed as they were.

"I—uhm…aha…" She rubbed the back of her neck, trying to find the right words. "Guess James was right after all. There _is_ something going on between you two. Oh! But…but don't worry! I won't tell, I promise."

Remus, who was still bright red, quickly picked up his book, feeling slightly relieved. "Uhm…did you need something, Lily?"

The words brought her back to her original cause. "Oh! Yes! Of course, I'm sorry." She folded her hands together, smiling. "Severus woke up! I thought you'd like to come with me to see him."

Beaming, he completely abandoned the book, walking towards the red-head. It hadn't really occurred to him that Severus had told Lily about their friendship, however, he had known about theirs. "Really?" He couldn't help but to grin at the offer and, of course, the knowledge of Severus coming to. "I—why, yes! I'd love to go with you!" Remus turned his head, looking back at Sirius. "Will you come with us? Please, Sirius? You don't have to come in if you don't want."

An irritated sigh parted Black's lips, as he forced himself to his feet. "Only because you asked…" He mumbled, looking annoyed.

The three of them arrived to the infirmary in lively spirits, chatting away about their Slytherin friend—or at least, the majority of the group. Sirius walked along side them, his hands shoved deep into his pockets, rolling his eyes every so often.

"Yes, I was surprised at first when he told me you two had become friends." Lily said, beaming at Remus. "But you're an agreeable person, and you two really are pretty similar."

He tilted his head, looking pleased. "It _is_ quite amazing though, I never imagined how pleasant he can be." Remus turned his head when Sirius had stopped. "Padfoot…?" "What? You said I didn't have to come in."

Remus blushed, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. "O-Oh…right."

"How are you, Sev?" Lily asked, walking up to the other boy's bedside.

Snape looked relieved and gave a soft smile through his layers of bandages. "I've been better." He suddenly frowned when Remus had walked into his line of sight.

"Welcome back, Severus!" Remus said cheerily, taking a seat on the end of the bed.

"What is _he_ doing here?!" Snape demanded, looking half infuriated, half frightened.

"I-I was worried about you…" Remus muttered, looking crushed from Severus' reaction. "You've been out for a long time…"

"No thanks to you, you-you _monster_!"

Golden eyes widened his heart dropping. "I-I…Severus?" Remus outstretched his hand, trying to take the Slytherin boy's hand in his own.

Yet, Snape had slapped it away, scrabbling to get a hold of his wand. "Get away from me!"

Remus wasn't sure what was more upsetting; the wand being pointed in his face, or Severus being the one who was on the other side of it. He stumbled to his feet, his hands held up defensively. "I-I don't understand…don't you remember?" He asked softly, trying his hardest to keep his voice from trembling.

"Remember what?!" Snape demanded, his icy jade green eyes scanning the blonde's face.

"What's wrong, Sev?" Lily broke in at last. "You and Remus are friends."

Severus looked towards Lily, a look of disgust crossing his face. "You're joking, right? I'd _never_ give _him_ the time of day!"

A small gasp of shock parted Remus' lips. What was going on? "B-But—"

"Just get out of here, Lupin!"

Narrowly avoiding a stream of orange, Remus retreated back out, quickly rushing into Sirius' unsuspecting arms. He wrapped his arms about the latter, burying his head against the Pure Blood's chest.

"Oi…" Sirius broke in through Moony's soft whimpers, sounding both concerned and protective. "What's wrong? He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"N-No…! He…he-he just…doesn't…seem to remember."

This didn't seem to affect Sirius quite as much as it had Remus. "Oh, really?" He asked, trying to sound as sympathetic as one could superficially manage. One of his hands rubbed Remus' back, while the other gently stroked the back of his head. "Come on, Moons. It'll be okay…" A smirk crept over Sirius' lips; if Lady Luck was with him today, it wouldn't be okay, leaving him the only one to be a downhearted werewolf's hero.

—Later—

A knock at the door was finally enough to draw him out of his room. It was James. Remus cracked the door open, just enough to stick his head out. "Y-Yes?"

"What's with you, Moony? You've been in your room ever since you and Padfoot came back. You all right, mate?"

"Yeah…I-I'm all right. Just feeling a little…off."

James looked slightly relieved, hearing it was nothing major. "Oh, good. Well, anyways, Lily's down in the common room. She wants to talk to you about something."

"Thanks." Remus mumbled, feeling a small spark of hope that he wished would just die. Maybe Severus had been faking it. Despite how terribly convincing he had played he role, maybe he had felt bad about giving him such a scare. So, then, he had told Lily to tell him that it had been just a joke. Maybe that was it…perhaps…maybe.

Lily looked a little worried, wringing her hands until Remus was within a few feet of her. "Oh, Remus!" She began, sounding as worried as she looked. "I spoke with Madame Gentry and, ohhh, it's awful, I'm sorry!"

"_What is it_, Lily?" Remus said, a little bit more demanding than he had meant to sound.

The girl frowned, noting the demand in his voice. "He…after speaking to both him and the nurse…he doesn't seem to remember the last few months, or so…the only thing he thinks he remembers is you attacking him, although I haven't the slightest as to why he'd think that."

So, that was that, was it? A friendship that had come and gone, all due cause of a jealous Sirius? Was that really how it was meant to end? "Y-You mean like some kind of amnesia? So, there's a chance he'll remember again?" Remus asked tentatively, raking his teeth across his lower lip.

Shrugging, the red head also shook her head. "That's what I had thought, and I asked…she wasn't sure. There is a chance…but she said it was very unlikely. Oh, Remus…I'm sorry."

Remus tried to smile, but it came out more like a grimace. "It's…it's not your fault. Thank you for letting me know."

"Oi, Remus!" Sirius was striding across the common room, past Lily, grabbing a hold of Remus' wrist. "I—uhm…I need to talk to you…alone. Now. Potions paper."

The taller boy practically drug the blonde upstairs, once more barricading themselves in Remus' room. "Y-You look like you're going to cry, Moony…" Sirius panted, looking slightly concerned. In spite of his slightly-noble efforts in trying to play Mr. Lupin's hero, his plans had been dashed by a detention he had forgotten about. As soon as they had let out, he had hurried upstairs, and was still slightly out of breath.

Despite being pinned under Sirius' well-muscled arms and the wall behind him, Remus half glared off towards another wall, trying to avoid Black's gaze. "So, what? I-It's not like anything would happen if I did…" He muttered, feeling a mixture of anger and regret swelling in his stomach. His mind had wandered back to the scene at the Shrieking Shack. How could this happen? Twice, no less. "…I…I-I'm a danger to everyone…I shouldn't even be alive…"

"Don't say that, Remus." Sirius whispered, placing a hand on the other boy's face. "It's all right—"

"No, Sirius! No! No, it's not!" The small boy shoved the other away, another onslaught of tears pouring down his cheeks. "Y-You don't know what it feels like to watch your friends almost die! And when you know they almost die because of you! And you can't do anything about it! Y-You _don't_ know…" Remus trailed off, his hands grabbing fistfuls of his own hair, collapsing up against the wall.

"Remus, _stop it_. We're all alive, aren't we?" Sirius interjected, his face uncharacteristically serious. "Calm down, please. I'll make it better."

Butterflies filled his stomach, a blush warming his cheeks at Sirius' words. He felt the strong arms winding about him, sweeping him off the floor, then the cool sheets of the bed beneath him. "W-Why are you doing this…?"

"Doing what?"

Remus bore into the gray eyes, frowning. "This…why? You can have anyone you want. Why me?"

"I know that," Padfoot replied nonchalantly, shrugging. He ran his thumb over Moony's cheeks, wiping away the tears. "And I'd rather have you. That's why." He planted a kiss on the other's forehead. "Now, will you please stop crying? It makes me want to punch something."

A smile slowly made its way to Remus' lips as he wrapped his arms around Sirius neck. "Thank you, Sirius…"

"Don't thank me, just stop crying." Sirius said, grinning.

"All right, but…"

"But?" Sirius repeated, raising a brow. "You mean _butt_?"

"No, no! Get your mind out of the gutter, you pervert!" Remus laughed, suddenly smirking; he flipped Sirius over, straddling his hips.

Sirius looked surprised that Remus had managed to flip him, but nevertheless laughed. "_I'm_ the dirty pervert? Look who's talk—mmph." Gray eyes widened with surprise as the younger boy had taken the liberty upon himself to shut his older friend up. He let his eyes close, looking content; or at least, that's what he _looked_ like.

Gasping at the hands snaking towards his rear, Remus bolted up, looking alert and embarrassed. "D-Don't!" He muttered in a hurried whisper.

Grinning, Sirius forced Remus under him again, pinning his wrists with his hands. "Merlin, Remus! You know how hard you're making this?" He leaned down; his lips softly sucking at Remus' neck. "Let me take you, _seriously_." It had seemed an eternity ago when the Lupin boy had spoken the words, but Sirius had every intention on turning them, and their meaning, around, to better suit his purpose.

"Pervert!" Remus squealed, trying to suppress another fit of laughter.

Sirius frowned, looking into Remus' eyes. "No…really. Remus, I want you."

The words might have well stopped the world spinning, Remus reasoned, turning a vivid shade of red. He turned his head, trying to look away. A moment later he felt his chin being taken in Sirius' hand, forcing his face back towards Sirius'.

"Remus, please…I can't get you off my mind, it's driving me crazy. I want to understand you. I want to be the one you go to when something's wrong…I want you to come to me when you're happy. I want to be with you. I don't know what else I can tell you…it's…it's so different. I-I…when I'm around you…it's like I can't find the right words! You've flipped everything upside-down! And yet…I like it this way."

Sirius' ebony waves of hair had been spilling into his face, raising the hair on Remus' arms. Every breath that had caressed his face sent him breathless. Oh, good Lord. Either Sirius was playing some sick joke, or Remus was seriously delusional and hadn't heard him right. "P-Pardon?" He stammered, his face almost disbelieving. Sirius was always sure of himself; he always knew what to say…didn't he?

A small sigh of irritation accompanied Sirius' blush, as he adverted his eyes, looking slightly embarrassed; another thing he never did. "I-I want to be with you, Remus."

A surge of bliss coursed through the smaller boy's body, sending a pleasant shiver down his spine. "Sirius, look at me…" He whispered, guiding the other boy's face with his free hand. Happiness gleamed in the golden eyes as he kissed Sirius softly on the lips before adding "I want to be with you too. I-…I trust you." He suddenly blushed, the shyness taking hold of him.

He blinked, confused at the sudden shyness. Then it hit him, causing him to blush as well. "Oh, no, Rem…" Sirius relaxed smiling a little and moving off the other, but he pulled him back into a sideways embrace. "I wasn't— Thank you, Remus…but I'll wait for you, until you're ready."

—A Month or So Later; Nearing Graduation—

"Oh, _come on_!" Lily shouted, throwing a couch cushion at James. "Just _one_ picture of you four?!"

"_Lily_!" James whined, trying to take cover behind Remus, who had his nose buried in a book.

This was when Sirius stood with a flourish, giving a flip to his raven black hair. "How dare you deprive such a lovely young lady a picture of the four best looking guys at Hogwarts?" He scooped Remus up, flinging him gently over one of his shoulders, causing a cry of annoyance from the latter. Sirius then grabbed James' arm and drug him over to where Peter was hovering nervously. "Now all of you smile, or I'll hex you during tonight's party."

The four of them smiled, and Lily clicked the picture. "Thank you, Sirius. At least _some one_ knows how to treat a lady." She gave a quick, playful glance towards James, before hurrying off to a catch a group of chatting girls.

"So, when does the party start?" Peter asked, plopping down into an armchair.

James smirked, pulling out the snitch he had stolen back in his fifth year. "Starts at nine, goes 'til whenever, I suppose." He laughed, looking over to Sirius. "I hear they'll have kegs and kegs of firewhiskey, Paddy."

"Naturally." Sirius grinned, still shouldering Remus. "It wouldn't really be a party without the stuff."

Sighing, Remus wriggled around in hopes of being put down. "I don't want any of you to come crying to me for a hangover potion. Got it?"

"Why, Moony…whatever gives you this crazy idea? You'll be needing one too."

"I will not become completely wasted like you usually do."

"Now, boys…we're all getting drunk, and we're going to leave Hogwarts with a bang." James said, grinning.

He slid Remus off his shoulder, almost gliding over to James. "Oh, Prongs, I believe you've come up with something…malicious." Sirius savored the word, an animalistic grin on his face. "Do tell."

—Later—

The graduation party of 1977 was perhaps the most ostentatious party that Hogwarts had ever seen. The notorious Marauders decided that the firewhiskey would be better served with the Enhancement Charm; sending everyone into an array of drunken, partying madness.

"This is a-amazing!" James hiccupped, a mug of the enhanced liquid frothing in his hand. "Even t-the teachers are t-tipsy!" Wrapped in his other arm was a drunk Lily Evans, who kept spouting nonsense; as was everyone else.

Or, at least, everyone but Remus Lupin. He had sighed irritably, whispering the counter-charm, keeping his normal firewhiskey in hand. Although, from his sober point of view, the mayhem _was_ rather entertaining. Several of the girls were doing things they probably wouldn't have been doing otherwise. The Quidditch teams had summoned their brooms and had begun flying around, dumping the wizard alcohol on several unsuspecting victims. Moony had almost spewed out his normal drink when he saw Professor Slughorn snogging Professor McGonagall; but couldn't help but smile as he saw Severus going by in a rather large Slytherin conga line.

However, he figured, it was probably time to check on the other four to make sure they were still breathing. Or something.

Peter hadn't been hard to find, he was dancing on a table, waving his shirt wildly above his head; causing several gasps of awe, disgust, and amusement. Lily and James were playing a rousing game of exploding strip snap; which Remus quickly shied away from, in fear of getting pulled into the game. He was never very good at it. Right, so that left—

"Sirius!"

Yes…that was who he was looking for. So why was this girl shouting his name?

_Oh, good Lord._

That was why.

The color of Remus' face drained to a frightening pale color. How stupid of him. Sirius would always be a ladies' man…no matter what he had said…what stupid idea had lead him to think otherwise? Casting a last look on the scene before him, he bit down on his lower lip, setting his regular firewhiskey down. Fine. If it was going to be like this, then fine. But Sirius Black was _not_ going to ruin the party for him. Cautiously, he picked up the enhanced beverage, lifting it slightly. "Here's to lying, cheating, so-called fucking best friends." Lupin grimaced, and then drunk the glass dry, the familiar burning sensation trickling down his throat. Only, this time it was much, much worse. In a good way. Or was it? Lovely, he was beginning to not make sense already! He grinned, fingering a second mug. Oh, yes; Remus Lupin was going to get through the night.

—The Next Morning—

The party finally ended around four. Everyone had fallen asleep scattered about the castle. It was the last day of classes for the younger students, while the seventh years had the day off; the actual graduation was to be held the next day.

James woke with a start, after Lily had rolled over and had accidentally smacked him in the face, only to find himself with a massive headache. Pressing his hands to his head, he glanced around. Much to his relief, he, Lily, and Peter had some how made it back to the Gryffindor common room. The seventeen year old shoved himself to his feet, immediately regretting it. "Ugh…need…water…" He muttered dryly, heading up the stairs, towards the dorm he, Peter, and Sirius shared.

Before turning into the bathroom, the sun caught in his eyes, causing him to look away, towards their beds. "Oi…what's this?" He mused aloud, fingering one of the two small bottles lying on his pillow. Through the pain of his headache, James smiled. "Thanks, Moony."

The once sober Moony, despite his word, had whipped up four small doses of the hangover potion. He had left one on Peter's bed, one on Sirius', and two on James, one for him, the other for Lily.

After downing the liquid, James picked up Lily's and Peter's. He should probably drop by Remus' room to see if he was all right, and to thank him, of course. Knocking briefly on the door, James had called out an "I'm coming in" before entering.

There was probably very little in the world that could have prepared James Potter for what he was about to see. "Oh my bloody hell! Moony! God, Remus! Blimey, mate! Say something!" Shattered mugs littered the floor, Remus being in their mists, sporting several gashes along his body. The blood from the cuts had mixed with the firewhiskey, turning the liquid a true fiery red color. "God damn it, Moony, wake up!!" He looked around frantically, finally standing. "Lily! Peter! Sirius! _Some one_!"

—Later—

"Hey, Remus…" The voice said softly.

Golden eyes blinked open, trying to un-blur the figure beside him. He felt a soft squeeze on his hand before clarifying the figure was Lily. "Uhnnn…m-my…my head." Remus whispered, cringing.

James let out a small laugh. "Well, mate…you _did_ down over ten enhanced firewhiskies. We're waiting for your potion to finish up."

"W-Why did you drink so much, Moony?" Peter asked bluntly, perhaps a little too blunt for both James' and Lily's taste.

"I—" Remus glanced around; no Sirius. Hah, like he could have expected anything else? "I don't know…" He quickly lied, letting his eyes shut. How pathetic. Not only succumbing to the firewhiskies, but having to be taken care of, like this. So, the saying was wrong; you couldn't drink away your sorrows. Even the image of Sirius from the night before was still burned into his mind. There was no hiding from it; it was crystal clear. There was no hiding the absolute look of pained disappointment in his face. There was no hiding the tear that rolled down his cheek, either.

"R-Remus…?" Lily asked, her grip on his hand tightening.

Giving a small, pathetic, beaten smile, Remus laughed, the tears rolling off his jaw and onto the pillow. "I'm so stupid."

—Later—

"I'm hooome!"

Sirius bounded into his dorm, only to find it was empty. He glanced around looking for some trace of life; but the only thing he found was the small bottle of potion that lay on his bed. Smiling, he strode towards the bed; he had already taken one earlier that day. So, who was this one from? 'Probably James,' he thought, picking up the bottle. Glancing at the tag, his flamboyant smile fell, a deep frown taking its place.

Sirius: Here's to drinking the night away.

Yours, Mr. Moony

From Remus?

Oh…good Lord.

"Damn it!" He had totally forgotten! Well, of course he forgot. One of the enhanced firewhiskies was enough to make anyone forget. Running back out into the hallway, through the door, it had only seemed increase his heart rate, the frown still on his face. "REM—"

"Shut up, will you?!" James cut him off in a harsh whisper.

Sirius was rather surprised at the welcome he had received, but, then again, the whole scene had surprised him. They were all spread about Remus' room, James sitting on a wooden chair, holding his head, looking mildly irritated. Peter had fallen asleep, sprawled out over the maroon and gold rug and was snoring softly. Lily was sitting in a chair, hunched over, asleep, on part of Remus' bed. She was gripping his hand, tear and mascara marks evident on her face. Curled up on his side, facing Lily, lay Remus, fresh cuts on his face, tear streaks also apparent on his cheeks.

"Where the hell have you been? Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Blimey, sorry mum!" Sirius could hardly contain a laugh.

James' eyes narrowed as he scoffed. "I'm not messing around, Sirius." He pointed towards the bed, his expression changing. "Can you honestly not see what you do to him? He-…he started bloody crying! Wormtail and I had no bloody idea what to do! He hasn't cried in _years_! But Lily was here and…Merlin, Sirius." His voice dropped, to a softer, more passive, almost pained whisper. "I've never seen him like that…"

Frowning, he placed a hand on James' shoulder. "I'm sorry…"

"I hate to say it, mate…but I'm not the one you should be apologizing to."

Half grimacing, half smiling, Sirius said "Yeah, I know…but you all have had a long night. I can take over from here."

James scoffed again. "Good luck, mate, you'll be needing it."

—The Next Morning—

The sun shone through the window, temporarily blinding the golden eyed teen as he woke. His head still hurt, but for an entirely different reason. Inching out of the ray of sunlight, his breath caught in his throat as a wave of emotion seemed to slap him in the face.

"Remus, I—"

"SIRIUS BLACK, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!"

"But I—"

"_OUT_!"

In the next room, Peter laughed a little, tossing James his tie. "Do you think Padfoot can handle it?"

There was a large crash and the sound of shattering glass before a frightened cry rose up.

"M-Moony?! L-Let's be reasonable here!!"

"Give me _one_ good reason, Black!!"

Peter winced as something hit the wall. "Do you think he'll ever forgive him?"

There was another crash and James looked back over to Peter. "Well, he definitely has his work cut out for him."

The majority of the morning continued as such; Sirius trying to win Remus over, while Remus continued yelling and destroying anything that happened to be near Sirius. James, Lily and Peter had quickly given up on trying to convince them both to behave themselves after Sirius had dashed by them, knocking James and Lily over, and sending Peter tumbling down a flight of stairs.

As far as graduation was concerned, it was held as meant, with no interruptions, much too every one's surprise. After it had ended, the students returned to the castle, having one last banquet before heading to their dorms to pack up; leaving the castle they called home, out into the real world.


	4. Getting Out

Remus muttered angrily to himself, carelessly yanking the robes from his trunk. Even the thought of having wanted to move in with Sirius completely infuriated him. It was hard to tell quite what Remus was feeling, because even he couldn't place what exactly that was. There was no denying that he was still hurt about what Sirius had done, but he was sick of dwelling on it. Yet, no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't stop thinking about it; which only lead to an increased irritation. The owls didn't help either. Two weeks had passed since they had left Hogwarts, and every day Sirius had sent multiple letters, all which remained unopened in his wastebasket. Remus had even avoided unpacking his trunk, figuring it would only make him think of his friends.

Which it did.

And it was why Mr. Moony was in such a foul mood.

"Stupid, lying, son of a—"

A warm, green burst of flame appeared behind him in his fireplace, causing Remus to stumble onto his bed. He immediately regretted ever having his fireplace connected to the floo network.

Out of the fireplace stumbled a very exasperated, worn out Sirius Black. The sheer sight of Remus was enough for him to utter a small cry of despair, his hands flying to his face. "Oh, mate, please Remus, please hear me out…"

Remus' jaw dropped. In all of the seven years he had known Sirius, he had never seen him looking that disheveled. His normal ebony waves of hair were frizzy, out of place, and looked like they were in desperate need of a good cut. Under his stormy gray eyes were large bruise-like half-circles, and the gray in his eyes looked darker than normal. Sirius' clothes were faded, worn, and wrinkled, giving him the resemblance of a homeless person.

"I was drunk, I'm sorry…I didn't have my head on straight…"

Despite his brief shock, Lupin let out a mirthless laugh. "If I recall correctly, I was drunk as well, but I didn't go around screwing every girl in my line of sight."

A slight scowl crossed Sirius' features. "Get it through your head, Remus! I'm sorry, all right? What more do you want me to do? Get down on my knees and beg for forgiveness?" His voice turned cold and a smirk appeared on his lips. "Or do you just want me to shag you too?"

Turning a deep shade of red, Remus clenched his jaw and fists, rising to his feet. "Get out of my house, Sirius. What in your right mind makes you think I'd ever accept your apology?!"

"Maybe because I know you can't get over me."

"Because that wasn't conceited or anything!" Remus yelled, throwing one of the spell books at Sirius. Worse yet, the words only irritated him more...why did he have to be right?

"Because I know it's true and so do you!" He shouted back, knocking the book down with his arm. "You can't honestly tell me that you haven't thought of me _at all_ over the past two weeks!"

"Even if I have, it doesn't mean anything! I just can't help but to think how much I hate you!"

Sirius scoffed. "You couldn't hate me if you tried!"

"I could too!" Remus threw another book towards Padfoot.

"Remus!!"

Both of the seventeen year olds turned towards the door, Remus suddenly looking alarmed. "W-What?" He stammered, pulling Sirius' arm and slowly pushed him down on the bed. "St-Stay here…please…" He asked in a hushed whisper, continuing to the door.

A pair of voices began talking as the door creaked open. Two older looking figures stood there, a hatefully degrading look on their faces. "Why, in Merlin's name, do you insist on making so much noise?" The man asked, glaring down through his glasses at his son. "You're going to give away you're here…we've been over this before, Romulus is not to know you exist."

Remus frantically nodded his head and stammered out a short apology.

"And who eez zat?" The woman asked in a heavy French accent, pointing a boney finger back at the door.

Whirling around, his golden eyes widened more, wishing Sirius had been capable enough to do what he had asked. "It's no one…don't be upset, _please_. He just came to talk to me about something." Remus said hurriedly, shoving Sirius back and shutting the door behind him.

'All right, so that probably wasn't the most brilliant idea I've had…but still…' Sirius was frowning, his ear pressed up against the door. These people, presumably Remus' parents, didn't strike him as the lovable type. Maybe that was why Remus never spoke of them. Just the way the acted and the panic that they caused in Moony's voice was enough for him to hate them on the spot.

"Vhat 'ave we told you about othezer people coming 'ere?"

"But he wasn't doing anything wrong! He's like a brother to me!"

The father let out a cold laugh. "Hah, as if some one could have ever befriended you?"

"He's been a better family than you have."

This was followed by the sound of a slap and an angry huff from Remus' mother. "Vhat did you say?! You insolent boy! Ve 'ave raised you! Ve 'ave fed you! And for vhat?!"

"Nothing," the father replied coolly. "He's just an ungrateful, pathetic, worthless werewolf."

A moment passed before Remus finally spoke, venom dripping from his voice. "For people who care so much about their precious Romulus, they probably shouldn't be degrading the werewolf."

A snarl rose up from the father, followed by the sound of shattering glass and a yelp from Remus. "Don't you dare touch our son, you damn monster!"

Sirius stumbled backwards as Remus was thrust back into the room, his hands clasped over his right eye. "What…what the hell was all that?"

"Y-You should g-go…" Remus whimpered, leaning up against the door. Blood was seeping through his fingers, dripping down to the wooden floor below.

Still looking startled, Sirius shook his head. "No…not until you tell me what the bloody hell goes on in this house." He took a step closer to Remus, placing a hand on one of Moony's wrists. "Let me see."

"Please, Sirius…just go."

"Then would _you_ at least fix your eye?"

There was a moment's pause, then the smaller boy replied "I…I can't…"

Sirius rolled his eyes, looking irritated. "Yes, you can. I've seen you do it a thousand times, so don't tell me you can't—"

"I just can't all right?!" Remus yelled, removing his hands. A long gash ran from the middle of his forehead, down to his cheekbone, cutting right across his eye. Crimson tears spilled from the wounded eye; his voice suddenly softened as his good eye's gaze fell to the floor. "They…they take my wand every time I come home, so I can't do anything 'stupid or dangerous'."

The taller boy stepped forward, taking Remus in one arm, pulling him closer. In his free hand, he took his wand, lightly pressing it to the gash. A small blue light shone from its tip as Sirius traced the wound down to Remus' cheek, the flesh immediately closing up with a sharp hiss.

Wincing, Remus managed a small smile. "Th-Thank you, Sirius."

He stuck the wand in his mouth, biting down on the wood so he could wipe away the blood on Remus' face. "Don't phank me…" He began, wiping his hand on his pants, replacing the wand back in his pocket. "Just, please…tell me what's going on here?"

Remus sighed, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. "It's…complicated. They…they changed so much after I was…well…yeah. They…I don't know, Sirius, just go, okay?" He looked up his friend, feeling exasperated.

"Hah, you expect me to leave after my best mate's parents just bashed him the face with a vase?" Sirius grinned, ruffling Remus' honey colored hair. "Hate to say it, Rem, but I guess you don't know me at all!"

A sigh escaped Remus' lips. "That has nothing to do with it; I'd just rather not see them bashing _you_ in the face."

"Me? The notorious Sirius Black? Very unlikely. Now, I'm not leaving until you answer some questions. First," he held up his index finger, "Are we sure your father isn't hiding your wand up his ass? Two—"

A wave of laughter had slipped from Remus, a look of pure happiness once more gracing his features. Sirius smiled, letting the laughter ripple over him, allowing him a brief respite from the horror he had just heard.

"Oh, I'm sorry! G-Go on…" Remus said, trying to suppress the rest of his laughter.

"It's all right, no need for an apology. Two, who is this Romulus?"

Patting the bed beside him, indicating for Sirius to sit, Remus reclined on his arms, looking up at the ceiling. "He's my younger brother…I've never actually met him. He lives down the hall; doesn't even know I'm even alive. As far as he's concerned, it's just been him, my mum, and dad for the past nine years."

Sirius had taken a seat, now looking stunned. "Good God, mate! Your family's like mine! Except worse!"

Giving a small shake of his head, Remus frowned. "No…they're good people…or, at least they were…well, it's really all my fault. When I turned into a werewolf, it kind of ruined my parents' lives. So they've kept me in here," he indicated his room. "So I wouldn't hurt anyone."

"How on earth did we ever let you come back here every holiday?!"

Remus chuckled, turning his head to face Sirius. "You make it sound so dramatic. I've been fine here." He motioned to the book filled shelves that lined his room. "It's not like they've left me with nothing to do; and then, of course, I still have the memories of the Marauders. I've survived, haven't I?"

"But Moony…" Sirius said, wrapping his arms about the smaller boy's shoulders. "This is wrong…please. Come stay with me, or James…or Peter even! Merlin, I'd rather have you living with him! And, blimey! You know how much I can't stand him! Please! You've got me all worried now…" He lightly ran his finger down the area where the gash had previously been, attempting to prove his point while wrinkling his nose.

Shaking his head, the younger of the two frowned. "I can't Sirius. They have no intention of letting me live a normal life…and my wand. I don't have any idea where it would be, or even if it's still here and in one piece." He smiled faintly, letting his head rest on Sirius' shoulder, a small sigh passing through his lips. "I'm resigning myself to my fate. I'll be all right."

Sirius frowned, taking Remus' face in his hands, gazing down at him. "Remus Lupin, you are a horrible liar, and you're getting out of this god-forsaken house before your parents snap and decide to start keeping you in a cage or something."

"I'll be all right, Sirius. Trust me."

"I'd no sooner trust Severus Snape. Moony, let's be rational, and take a step back to look at the situation." He let out a laugh. "Merlin, did I really say that? See! That's how worried I am! _Anyways_. Your parents are crazy and basically think you're a thorn in their side. You don't like it here and you'd rather be living with a certain some one," he gave a playful wink, letting go of Remus' face. "So one with your knowledge capacity, you would think they would leave. Then everyone is happy, right? Oh, _come on_, Remus!"

"I can't…" Remus mumbled, now wringing his hands together.

Letting out a loud sigh, Sirius then groaned, flopping back on the bed. "You can! Get it through that thick head of yours!"

The smaller of the two felt his arm being pulled, causing him to fall back as well. Golden eyes blinked in surprise, staring at Sirius' half irritated, half concerned face.

"Do you have any idea how infuriating it is to have this one person on your mind, but you know they won't talk to you?"

A mock-sympathetic smile appeared on Remus' lips. "I think I might have an idea."

"_Remus!!_"

The Lupin boy bolted up, yanking Sirius to his feet. "Bloody hell! Quick! Apparate out—! _Shit_! You can't do that!! Get in the fireplace— _yes_, now!" He was now shoving his friend towards the fireplace, looking frantic. A frown appeared when Sirius seemed to still be doing nothing. "_Well_??" He implored, throwing his arms up.

"I don't have any floo powder! I had to sneak into James' room to swipe some! _He_ wouldn't even let me come see you!"

"Merlin, Sirius!" Remus grabbed a small pouch from the fireplace mantle, dumping its contents at Sirius' feet, causing the green fire to roar to life. His frown deepened when Sirius took hold of his wrist.

"Come with me," he whispered, eyes locked on his friends'.

He shook off the grasp, smiling. "I'll be fine."

The door burst open once more, causing Remus to turn. 'Damn it, Moony!' Sirius thought bitterly. "Potter Mannor!"

—Elsewhere—

The Potters jumped, seeing Sirius stumble through their fireplace. They were seated at their dinning room table, Mr. and Mrs. Potter, James, and Lily.

"It's a bloody hell hole in that house and he's gotten thinner, if that's even humanly possible! And locked in his room, no wand, just _books_! Augh! I can't stand it!"

James stood, a thoroughly perplexed look on his face. "Padfoot…what are you talking about?"

Looking exasperated, Sirius threw his hands up in the air. "What am I talking about?!" He repeated, rolling his stormy gray eyes. "I'm talking about Remus! We have to get him out of that house!"

Frowning, he took a step closer to his friend. "Remus? I thought we agreed you weren't going to go see him…"

"Shove off, James! It's not like that anymore! He _needs_ to get out of that house!"

James sighed, apologetically motioning for his parents to leave the room. "Sorry mum, dad…we kinda need a moment."

"Are you sure you don't want us to help? It sounds like Remus is in a bit of trouble…" Mrs. Potter said softly, getting to her feet and gently touching James' arm.

"No, no, I'm sure Sirius is just being dramatic."

"But I'm not!"

"Anyways, if we do need your help, we'll let you know."

This seemed to appease the Potter parents, and they disappeared into the den.

After they had left, he turned back to Sirius, an eyebrow raised. "All right, then would you please explain what's going on?"

At last, Lily finally piped in, looking both confused and concerned. "Sirius…is Remus okay? And is that _blood_ on your pants?"

Padfoot sighed, taking a seat on the chair that Mr. Potter had recently been sitting in. He retold the story of what had happened only minutes before, down-playing the argument and book throwing, and stressed the conditions his parents were keeping Remus in, and the horrible way they treated him. "James, I _can't_— I _won't_ let him stay in that house! We need to get him out…but I need your help."

"My help?" James repeated, a slight smirk on his lips.

Sirius nodded, grinning as well. "Oh yes, your help, and Lily's too…this is 'Operation: Save Moony'."

The day wore on, several ideas reviewed, re-vamped, and rejected. None of the ideas seemed to hold the full capacity it took to free their werewolf friend. One plan had almost worked, save for the fact that one could not apparate in or out of Remus' room. When evening had rolled around, they took a short break for dinner; Lily had to leave after they had eaten. The two Marauders continued on, thinking until the clock read one thirty, when at last James declared his brain was decaying, and he wanted to go to sleep.

A soft sigh parted Padfoot's lips as he glared up at the ceiling. There _had_ to be _something_ that he could do for Remus…but what? For what was probably the hundredth time, he ran over the obstacles in his mind: there was only one way into Remus' room, and that was through the floo fireplace, they had no idea where his wand was, his parents would recognize him, so that left Lily and James to dealing with them, and worst yet, even if they managed to overcome everything else, it was unlikely that Remus would even come along with them. However, after another half hour lost in thought, an idea came to him, bringing a smile to his lips. Maybe it wasn't enough to work, but it was definitely enough to give it a shot. At last, Sirius Black slipped off into the loving hold of sleep.

—The Next Day—

The red-head sighed, giving a small flip of her hair. Sure, she wanted to help Remus, but this was ridiculous. His parents would never buy it. 'Too late now,' she thought, watching James knock on the door of the Lupin household.

She and James were hand in hand, pretending to be the slightly pushy young couple that had just moved in down the road. Their mission was to invite themselves in, always scanning around for the wand, and if they found it, they would need to acquire it. All the while, Sirius would floo in and try to convince Remus to leave…again.

'This isn't going to work…' Lily thought, still waiting for the Lupins to come to the door. After a moment, she nudged James with her elbow. "Try again."

Still, there was no answer.

"All right…" James said with a grin. "Let's hope no one's home." With that, he pointed his wand at the lock, a small clicking sound following.

—Elsewhere—

"Ouch! Damn it, Moony, why is your fireplace so little?" He asked, rubbing his forehead. Sirius had taken a step forward when he had appeared, sending his forehead into the brick of the fireplace. He glanced about the room, not seeing Remus on his bed, or at his desk. He finally found him slumped in the corner, between the wall and the bookshelf. The honey blonde hair spilled onto his face, his head resting up against the bookshelf. Several books lay open and scattered about him, a book resting on his thigh, his hand still marking its place. Sirius couldn't help but let out a small laugh; this pose was so characteristically Remus: slumped over somewhere, surrounded by books, fast asleep.

The taller boy knelt, laying a hand Remus' shoulder, shaking him a little. "Hey, Moony…come on, get up."

"Not Sirius!" Remus bolted up with a start, his face both startled and fearful, yanking himself from his nightmare. However, his head had collided with Sirius', sending him back into reality. "What the-…" He glanced at who he had just collided with, his hands pressed to his forehead. "Sirius?" Remus' voice sounded relieved, before alarm suddenly rose back into his voice. "What are you doing back here?? Don't you kn—mmph…" Nothing seemed to matter any longer, as Sirius took his chin in hand, pressing his lips against his.

The kiss was gentle, almost as if Sirius was afraid of hurting his friend. "Remus, please…come live with me…" He whispered, his lips still up against Remus'. With his thumb he stroked Remus' cheek, his gray eyes pleading as they scanned the smaller boy's face.

Remus slowly shook his head, forcing himself out of Sirius' grip by relaxing up against the wall; not this again…if Sirius had any idea what danger that put him, Sirius, through, perhaps he'd change his mind. "Sirius, it's not that I don't want to it's just—"

"What is that?" Sirius had once more taken the smaller boy's chin in his hand, turning his head to the left. A lithe finger traced an outline of a bruise, which probably would have been adjacent to the gash from the day before, had it still been there. "Where did you get it?"

Shrugging, Remus replied "I feel asleep against a bookshelf…what do you expect?"

"Remus, I might have flunked a class or two, but I'm not an idiot. I know a bruise when I see one…"

"Really, I'm fine."

"I didn't ask you if you were fine, I asked where you got it."

"Sirius—"

Sirius rolled his eyes, getting to his feet. "Don't 'Sirius' me! Look at you! They're bloody beating you, and you roll over and take it! This _isn't_ you, Remus! What's happened; did you really just give up?!" His voice had become gradually louder until he was practically yelling his last question.

Frowning, Remus muttered some reply, standing as well, his hand outstretched, as if reaching for forgiveness…for comfort…for something. Looking away, his hand fell back down to his side.

The room fell into silence, Sirius boring down at Remus, Remus' golden eyes downcast at the floor. Their heads suddenly snapped to the door when there was another clicking sound: the signaling of undoing a lock.

"Shit…" Remus moaned, taking a step towards, and in front of Sirius. If he could help it, his parents wouldn't lay a finger on Sirius. This was when one of Sirius arms appeared at his side, wand clutched in his hand, pointed at the door, while his other arm snaked around Remus' stomach. "Wh…What are you doing?"

"I won't let them hurt you."

The door swung open, the couple standing at the door. "Remus! Merlin, mate! Two weeks really _has_ seemed like an eternity, eh, Sirius?" James asked, grinning at his friends, while noting Sirius' protective stance.

"Oh, Remus! I was so worried, I'm glad to see you're all right."

Remus smiled, "It's good to see you too, James, Lily." He felt a blush spread through his cheeks as he felt Sirius' arm trail off his waist; he quickly tried to dismiss the thought. "Not that I'm not grateful or anything, but…how did you guys get in here?"

Laughing, James cocked his head, giving a grin. "No one was home. Oh! Right, we have a present for you, Moony." James then pulled a wand from his pocket handing it to the shorter boy.

"My wand! Thank you so much! I thought I'd never see it again…"

"Well, that settles it, then. We're getting you out of here." With a flick of his wand, Sirius hand sent several of Moony's belongings out of their drawers, hovering over to his bed, before falling neatly into piles.

The Lupin boy remained still for a moment, before he scuttled out the door, turning to his right. If he was getting out of the house, then he was going to learn as much about his brother as he could before he did. Taking a deep a breath, he opened the door, taking in the new room and the scent that was no doubt Romulus'. It smelled familiar, like his mother, but had a hint of pine to it. Why this was, Remus hadn't the slightest idea. The walls were a beige color, under several posters of Quidditch teams zooming around on their brooms, grinning out at the unknown audience. There was even a stationary poster of the Hogwarts crest hanging above the bed; this would no doubt change once he was old enough to be sorted. There was a desk in a corner, littered with books, mostly ones about Quidditch. Remus smiled as he continued looking around, finally glancing at the ceiling, spying several mini-bewitched-brooms flying around in unknown courses.

"Hey, Moons—…woah…looks like Romulus is a Quidditch fan too. Oi, James! C'm'ere!" Sirius had appeared behind his friend, now calling down the hall for Prongs.

"Woah. I like this kid already. Haha, look at the brooms!" He grinned, looking over to Sirius. "I'm sure we could bewitch some mini-bludgers too."

The conversation turned into simple chatter in Remus' ears as he continued exploring the room. A smile came to his lips as he picked up a picture of three people, which had been sitting on the nightstand. He even felt a calm wash over him, seeing his parents' comely faces smiling up at him. 'They wouldn't be doing that if they knew it was me…' He thought, a soft sigh parting his lips.

Poking his head over the shorter boy's shoulder, Sirius grinned. "He looks just like you; look. He's got your eyes," he said, pointing down at the young boy's golden eyes. "His face is fuller than yours, and your hair is lighter, but if you two were the same age, you could probably pass off as twins."

Remus laughed, nudging Sirius in the stomach. "Nah, because then we'd just be repeats of the myth. And I'd rather not have my little brother kill me."

"Really? I thought you killed him."

"Nope, I'm the one who dies."

Lily laughed, appearing in the doorway. "You two have no idea how ridiculous you sound. If I didn't know what you were talking about, I'd think you were plotting a murder of something."

Shaking his head, Remus smiled, slipping the picture out of the frame, setting the empty wooden frame back on the nightstand. "No murder here, but," he looked back to Sirius, his voice softening. "I think I'm ready to leave now."

Grinning in reply, Sirius swung his arm over Remus' shoulders. "Good, because I'm ready to get you out of here."

—Later that Day—

The room reminded him of almost the dorm they had all shared at Hogwarts, just without the brilliant shades of maroon and gold, of course. Yet, at the same time, it felt like he was home, like the room was made just for him; which it was, of course. Sirius had spent more than a fair share of time perfecting the room Remus would be staying in.

Setting the smaller box on the bed, he pulled out his wand, moving the rest of the boxes inside, piled neatly against one of the walls. He had been opening the box on the bed when Sirius' words had caught his attention. "_Paid off_?! What do you mean it's already paid off?? Did you rob Gringotts or something?!"

Sirius laughed, leaning onto the doorframe. "Rem, calm down; I didn't steal anything…my Uncle Alphard died a few years back, back when everyone could still stand me, and he left me a small fortune. And it's not like I'd want you to pay this thing off anyways."

Frowning, Remus dropped the pile of clothes from the box on his new bed. "But Sirius…I can't do that…you've already done so much and I—"

"Do you _ever_ stop worrying?"

"Pardon…?"

Sighing, Padfoot dramatically put a hand over his eyes. "You've done this for the past seven years…I thought you'd have grown out of it when the exams and papers weren't an issue anymore." He moved his hand off of his face and grinned. "Apparently not! Look, everything's fine, you don't owe me a thing. Just finish unpacking and get a good night's sleep, all right?"

Still frowning, Remus nodded. When Sirius had left, he sighed, sitting down next to the abandoned pile of clothes. To be truthful, he doubted that he would have a good night's sleep. Not that he wasn't grateful for being stolen away from his home…it was just the thought of living with Sirius sent a mass of butterflies to his stomach. One would think after living in the next room over to him for the past seven years, sharing a two story house wouldn't be much different. Well, whoever though this was crazy, Remus reasoned, flopping back on the bed. Sirius was right next door…and it was just the two of them. There was no Peter, no James, no Lily; _just them_.

His thoughts whisked him away, time not slowing for him, not waiting for him to come back to reality; it had been almost an hour since his thoughts had claimed him. Remus sat up with a sigh, staring hopelessly at the boxes and his trunk of belongings. He didn't want to unpack. He wanted to read, or talk, or something so he wouldn't have to be alone with only his thoughts to occupy his mind, otherwise, he'd be up all night. Remus meandered out the door to Sirius' room, slowly turning the doorknob and sticking his head in. "Sirius?"

"Rem, you still awake?" Sirius had looked up from a pile of his own stuff; he had tried to arrange it all, but he couldn't decide where to put it. His blue jeans seemed to be falling off his hips, his shirt having been abandoned some time during the replacement process. He still held a small smile on his lips, despite the soft concern in his voice. "Something wrong?"

A tinge of red crept through Remus' cheeks as he walked in, forcing himself not to stare at his half-naked friend. Taking a seat on the end of Sirius' bed, he said "Not really…I just didn't feel like unpacking."

Sirius laughed, balancing the box of miscellaneous junk on his hip as he tip-toed up, reaching to place some misshapen-looking trinket on a shelf. "Merlin, I didn't think you were capable of being lazy."

"I'm not being lazy," Remus protested. "I just didn't want to do that right now."

The taller of the two set the box down, then stretched his back. "Then what do you want to do?"

Remus shrugged, pulling his legs up on the bed, tucking them into his chest. Resting his chin on his knees, he shrugged, staring down at the floor. "I don't know. Can't we just talk about something…?"

"Like what?"

"Anything, I guess."

"Hmm, all right." Taking a seat next to Remus, Sirius reclined on his arms, looking up towards the ceiling. "Just if you're still upset about it, I'm sorry about the night of the party. I'm sorry, Remus. I'm an arrogant prat, and I know it—" He smiled as Remus had turned his head, opening his mouth to say something. "No comment from you. Although, I'm still not sure what I can do to make it up to you, but let me know if there's anything, and I mean _anything_, that I can do, all right?"

Frowning, the golden eyed boy turned around, so he was now facing Sirius. "But you really already have. I mean, you got me out of that house, you helped me get my wand back…you're letting me stay here. You've done more than enough…"

"Have I? At least one of us feels that way."

Remus scowled. "Sirius…"

Laughing again, he raised a brow. "What? And haven't I told you to stop 'Sirius'-ing me? I got it all through school, I don't need it here."

For a brief moment, Remus sat there, scowling, but he then extended his leg into one of Sirius' arms, causing the gray eyed boy to fall backwards onto the bed. "I'll tell you whatever I want to tell you. Some one's going to have to _try_ to keep you in line." He stuck out his tongue, stretching his other leg out as well.

"You make it sound like it's such a burden, Moony!" Sirius whined, lifting his head to pout at his friend.

"You have _no_ idea." He replied, grinning.

Suddenly, Sirius sat up, half hugging, half tackling Remus, causing the two of them to fall off the bed and onto the floor. The taller of the two lay grinning on top of the blonde, who was scowling up at him.

"That _hurt_, you stupid dog."

"Oh, shut it, Moony. You're the one who started it." He then kissed him, his grin softening to a smile. "Any better?"

A small smile played on the corner of Remus' lips, giving away his sudden feeling of bliss. "It's a start…" He mumbled, still trying to look upset.

Within moments, the two of them were laughing and smothering each others' faces with kisses. Legs and arms tangled together; every small laugh or whine from Remus made Sirius grin. With a peaceful sigh, he laid his head on the other boy's chest, soon captivated by the rhythm of his heart.

Remus had debated on several occasions as to whether or not he should tell Sirius how he felt…and now seemed like a good time. Running his fingers through the ebony waves of hair, he took a breath, staring up at the ceiling. "Sirius…?"

"Mmm?"

"I love you."

...

A/N.

Sorry this is kind of short compared to the others, but it's the last little bit before the new chapter in their lives.

Okay, so I guess it's 'splainin' time.  
Let's start with Remus' room.  
It's kinda like Hogwarts, where people can't apparate in or out. Leaving two ways to get in: the fireplace or the door, which is locked from the outside.  
Mm'kay.  
And then Remmy's jerkfaces of parents.  
His padre works at the ministry and is in his late-forties. He used to be all nice and like the perfect version of a father, but then when 'toopid Grayback bit Rem, he basically fell into a depression and that consumed him until the sadness turned into hate.  
His madre is a French woman, no not a witch. Yes, she is a muggle. They met when they happened to be in Germany for who knows what reason. But she's in her early-forties. She used to be a lovely, quiet momma but then she got all angsty over werewolf Rem.  
So...yeah.  
Then when Remus was eight, they had another kid, which is Romulus. (Haha, nice name, yeah?) And like it said, Rommy has no idea Remus actually exists.  
I think that's it.  
If there's something you're confused about just ask, mm'kay?


	5. Happy Birthday

—Two Years Later—

A long sigh parted Remus' lips as he fiddled with the lock on the door. How he hated the stupid thing; no matter how hard he tried, or how gentle he tried to slide the key into the lock, it would always take forever to get the door open. In the beginning, the lock had managed to get on his nerves so much, that he had resigned to using magic to open it. However, this did not bode well for the werewolf, for he found his hand being electrocuted. Why, he wondered, out of all the ways Sirius could have protected the house, why enchanted keyholes? At last the lock gave way; Remus then re-shouldered several bags and pushed the door open. "I'm home!" He called out, pulling off his scarf, and then set the bags on a small table near the door.

Within only a moment, Sirius had bounded into the front room and had swept Remus up in an embrace, planting a kiss on his lips. "Happy Birthday, Moony!" He grinned, releasing him, but soon taking his hand. "How was work?" He asked after a moment.

"Alright, I guess," the honey blonde said with a shrug, the blush still vivid in his cheeks. They had been living together for almost two years, but Sirius' kisses never failed to put some color into Remus' cheeks. "Nothing too exciting." The now-nineteen year old Lupin boy had taken up a job at Flourish and Blotts, and enjoyed it very much. Even if the day was uneventful, he could still spend it reading.

"Then you should have stayed home with me. I mean, come on, who works on their birthday? Even _I_ took the day off."

Remus laughed as Sirius began pulling him into the kitchen. "Sirius, you always take days off; I'm surprised they even let you keep your job."

Shoving the shorter with his shoulder, Sirius snorted. "Oh, hush, you." He then pointed to the kitchen table, which sat a pile of presents and letters. "Those are for you. And James said he and Lily would come over later. _Oh_!" Releasing his hand, Sirius hurried over to the table, grabbing a cream colored envelope. "I think you should read it now; it's from Dumbledore, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't usually send birthday cards."

Remus nodded, taking the letter; inside contained a letter from their former headmaster, and a smaller envelope. Deciding to read the letter from Dumbledore first, golden eyes began scanning over the words.

Dear Mr. Lupin,  
I certainly do hope this letter finds you well, and very close to your nineteenth birthday, I believe. You're probably wondering why you're receiving this letter, and unbeknownst to you, you have been causing a great disturbance with some of the current students here at Hogwarts. Do not be alarmed, though; it really is no fault of your own, but that of your former professors. Since I am probably only adding to your confusion, this old man will draw to a close. I hope you enjoy the enclosed letter.  
Sincerely Yours,  
Albus Dumbledore

P.S. Have a wonderful nineteenth birthday.

He blinked a few deliberate times, obviously confused at the letter's contents. "I'm causing a disturbance? _How_?" Remus asked, looking over to Sirius who had taken the letter and was reading it as well.

Sirius looked up, placing the Headmaster's letter on the table. "We'll never know until you open the other letter..."

"Oh, right..." Remus tore back the envelope opening, his nose twitching at the vaguely familiar scent of pine. A smile crossed his lips as he unfolded the second letter.

Dear Remus,  
I don't know if you know who I am, but I'm Romulus Lupin and, apparently, your younger brother. I didn't even think I had a brother. But I guess that explains a lot of things, like the room down the hallway at home. I wondered why it was always locked, but I guess that was because of you. Did you not want to meet me? All right, I know that's not true, Dumbledore explained a lot of it. He said that mum and dad didn't want me to know about you, but still...I have a brother!  
Haha, all right, so let me tell you how I came to find out about you.  
When I got to Hogwarts, I stood in line waiting to be sorted. Professor McGonagall called my name, and looked very surprised to see me, but she nevertheless put the Hat on my head. And then it started talking!  
It said "Ahh, another Lupin. Good mind you have, like your father...but also like your brother, yet you and he have such strong hearts. My, this is a close one. Gryffindor? Or Ravenclaw?"  
I'm not really sure if I said it or thought it, but I said "What brother? I'm an only child, there must be some mistake."  
The Sorting Hat laughed. "This seems like a good decision," it said.  
"What are you talking about?"  
The next thing I knew, it was shouting "Gryffindor!"  
It's really cool, being in Gryffindor. Everyone's really nice, and I think I'll try out for Quidditch when I'm older. And that is, if I can ever get the hang of all of this schoolwork!  
Oh yeah...back to the story.  
Once we got back to the common room, I noticed Professor McGonagall was _still_ staring at me. I finally asked her if there was something wrong.  
She apologized, saying something like "You definitely look like a Lupin...you even have his eyes." Which, I thought was crazy, because dad's eyes are green, not gold, like mine.  
Things settled down for the night, and I went to bed feeling nervous. But the next morning in my classes, all of the professors mentioned how much I looked like you, or how I was as smart as you were at my age. I tried to convince myself there was no way I could have a brother, and tried to push it out of mind; the professors did eventually stop bringing you up, but I still wondered if I really did have a brother. I decided over Christmas Holiday to ask mum and dad about it.  
When I asked them, they got really upset; mum started yelling in French and dad went upstairs and I heard a lot of crashes and booms. (I really hope they didn't find you during the holiday.) But they denied ever knowing about you. So, when I went back to school, I started asking abut you, and finally in mid-February, Dumbledore finally consented to tell me.  
So...yeah!  
I wish I could meet you sometime. Maybe you could come see me at Hogwarts, if it's allowed. I'm pretty sure it is, but I'll go double check with Dumbledore.  
All right! He said it was fine. So come see me soon, okay?  
Your little Brother,  
Romulus

P.S. Happy Birthday!

—Later that Day—

Lily handed the letter back to Remus with a warm smile on her rosy lips. "That's so sweet, Remus; are you planning on going to see him some time soon?"

"Pfft, of course he is and we're going to tag along too." Sirius said, shoving another forkful of cake into his mouth. "There's no way I'm missing a chance to meet this mini-Remus, plus, I'm sure the teachers will be _thrilled_ to see me again. You and Lils should come along too. Wha'd'you say, Prongs?" He twirled his fork absentmindedly between his fingers while looking expectantly at James. "I'm sure McGonagall has been missing us."

"Sirius, it's not your pla—"

James nudged Lily, grinning. "Oh, relax, Lily. They've obviously talked about it, and you can't honestly tell me that you don't want to meet Romulus." Looking up, he then nudged Remus with his foot. "What do you say, Moony?"

Remus, who had been re-reading the letter for what was probably the thirtieth time that day, finally looked up. "Pardon…what?"

Letting out a laugh, Sirius ruffled his honey blonde hair, and then asked "Do you want all of us to come with you?"

Moony's face suddenly fell, flooding with worry. "Y-Yes! Of course! I'm so worried, what if he doesn't like me? Or what if my parents told him to hate me? Or what if _he_ just hates me? Ughhh…"

The other two Marauders sighed, giving a sympathetic smile. Of course, leave it to Remus to worry about something such as this. Lily laughed softly, placing her hand on Remus'. "He'll adore you, Remus. You are probably the best brother anyone could have."

"Thanks…" Remus mumbled, a smile tugging on the corner of his lips.

A moment of silence fell over the four of them, each lost in their own thoughts. They were only drawn out of their silent repose when the clock donned eleven.

James stood with a sigh, looking genuinely unhappy. "Merlin…is it really already eleven?" He then held out his hand to Lily, who took it and got to her feet as well. "Damn work…well, anyways!" Suddenly brightening, he clasped Remus' shoulder, giving it a squeeze. "Happy Birthday, mate."

Standing, Remus smiled again. "Thanks, James."

"Thanks for having us over Remus! I hope your birthday was nice." Lily embraced him, and then returned to James, who was speaking with Sirius by the door.

"Oi, Moony, just let us know when you want to go. We'll be there; promise." A large, boyish grin suddenly spread across James' face. "I solemnly swear…"

Sirius grinned, his nose wrinkling. "That I'm up to no good."

They turned to look at Remus, who was trying to hold back a laugh.

"No, I will not say it."

"C'mon, Moons. You _have_ to."

"I do not."

"Just for old time's sake?"

Remus finally let out the laugh. "James, do you really consider two years ago 'old times'? And besides, no thanks to you two being ridiculously careless, we don't even have the map anymore…"

Poking him the ribs, Sirius sent him a kicked-puppy pout— a look he did quite well. "Oh, come on, Remus! And besides, it's not like it'd be much use to us anymore."

"Oh, fine!" He let out a loud exaggerated sigh, then broke out into a childish smile. "Mischief managed!"

All three of them laughed after Remus had finished, all the while Lily watched, smiling and shaking her head. They said another final round of 'Happy Birthday's and goodbyes before Lily and James apparated home.

Shutting the door after them, Remus suddenly found himself slung over Sirius' shoulder, being carried up the stairs. Laughing, Remus squirmed around, only to find Sirius' grip on him tightening. "You know, I'm quite capable of walking by myself."

"Yes, I do know; but Heaven forbid the Birthday Boy walk." Sirius fell quiet as he continued on his way, eventually ending at his destination— his room— and gently flopped Remus onto the bed. Nimble fingers began undoing the buttons of the black button-up shirt he had been wearing, then he gently shrugged it off, earning a curious glance from Remus.

Only a moment later, the Lupin boy sat up, wondering why the other had gotten so quiet. "Sirius, what are you do—" However, his inquiry was cut short by his sweater, which was trying to force itself up, over his head. "You could have just asked," Remus said, helping the sweater along, and then tossed it on the floor.

"I don't know," Sirius replied, tapping his wand against his chin. "It's sexier this way because I get a say in it."

"But you always have a say—"

"Remus," the taller boy began, tossing his wand onto the dresser. A sudden playful grin appeared on his lips as he strode over to the bed, gently untying the ribbon that kept Lupin's hair off his face. "Just shut up." With that, Sirius cupped Remus' face with his hands, pressing his lips to the smaller boy's.

The two of them fell back on the bed, both hardly daring to breathe; breaking the kiss wasn't worth the air. It wasn't long before Padfoot's tongue was tracing his lips, seeking entry, which was instantly granted. Sirius' arms were wrapped about Remus so tightly, Remus wondered if Sirius was worried about suddenly losing him. But why would he be worried about that? He certainly didn't plan on leaving; he would stay as long as Sirius wanted him. And even if he did leave, for whatever reason, it wouldn't be like he would be able to stop loving him.

At last Sirius relinquished his lips' hold on Remus', his stormy gray eyes filled with some internal conflict. "Remus…" He almost moaned, pressing kisses against the boy's neck and collar bone. "Can I?" His question dropped to a whisper; the self restraint in his voice and actions was beginning to slip.

That subject had been rarely touched upon over the course of the two years. When it had, however, Remus found his way around it, but usually hated himself for doing so. While it seemed as Sirius was all right with his decision, Remus knew better— how the friendly conversations were just a temporary façade to cover his feelings until the rejection had finally left his mind. But it wasn't only awkward on one side; oh no, no, no. While Sirius could some how muster enough self dignity to carry on pleasant conversation, Remus could hardly stand to be in the same room as his friend. But…they _had_ been together for a while. And Sirius had done so much for him. It was only fair, right?

Propping himself up on his elbow, Remus brushed the waves of ebony away, leaning close to Sirius' ear. Despite his ever-growing nervousness, he still managed to laugh. "Go easy on me, 'kay?" He whispered, and then let himself fall back on the bed, trying to smile. It was a lot harder to do so when one couldn't hear their own thoughts over the rapid thudding of their heart.

"What?" Sirius asked, caught slightly off guard. However, from the shock of the answer, the conflict in his eyes was beginning to dissolve. "Remus, are you sure? It's all right, I just…it's getting—"

"Sirius, think of it as my birthday present," grinning, Remus continued. "Just shut up and give it to me."

Despite Remus' outward calmness about it, Sirius cradled his friend, laying his head on Remus' shoulder. "You don't have to try to be so brave…" He whispered, his lips moving against the other's neck.

"Is that what you call this?" Remus asked, trying to hold back a nervous laugh. After a moment he fell quiet, trying to muster every bit of courage his nineteen year old body could give him. "Sirius, I love you. I love you more than anything I could ever have; I'm yours…and…a-and I'm ready."

Shoving himself up, Sirius raised a brow. "Remus, don't lie to me…"

"I'm not lying…" He said feebly, but somehow managed to say it.

He smiled and shook his head. "Oh, God…Remus Lupin, I'm glad you're ready…because I can't tell you how long I've waited for you to say that!" The characteristically Sirius grin appeared on his lips as his nimble fingers went along undoing Remus' pants in only a matter of seconds, then tossed them to the floor, joining their shirts.

With the sudden lack of fabric on his lower body, he shivered, biting down on his lower lip— hard.

"Remus…" A sigh parted Sirius' lips, his demeanor dampening. After a moment he spoke again, placing his thumb on Remus' lower lip, trying to free it from the death grip his teeth was giving it. "It's all right, really…don't push yourself for me, just go to bed, or someth— _Oww_!" He recoiled his hand placing his thumb to his own lips. "You bit me!"

His expression was torn, as if he couldn't decide whether he wanted to be scowling or laughing. "Yes, I bit you. Don't send me to bed, you're not my mother."

"That wasn't what I was trying to say."

Remus rolled his eyes, swiping Sirius' arms from out beneath him and rolled him over, so now that he was sitting on Sirius' stomach. "Well, then maybe you shouldn't be saying anything, and maybe it wouldn't kill you to listen to me. Look, I'm a little scared, all right? But that doesn't mean I'm not willing." He bent over, placing a kiss on Sirius' forehead. "I trust you, so just trust me."

Pulling Remus off him, Sirius smiled. "I do trust you. But look how skinny you are…I could throw you across the room." He suddenly frowned, "Not that I would, I mean—"

"Padfoot…it's all right. Just…yeah…" Words were beginning to fail young Mr. Lupin; what exactly was one supposed to say under this situation?

"Right, right…" Even Sirius had trailed off, but at least he had managed to be productive about it. In that short amount of time, he stripped himself of pants, already turning his attention back to Remus. A smirk rippled across his lips as he briefly scanned Remus' body, once more looking back into the golden eyes. "Are you happy to see me, Remmy?" He asked teasingly, then slid the boy's boxers off, his hands lingering on the werewolf's upper thighs.

"Sirius…" Remus mumbled, looking away. He was already feeling _so_ self-conscious.

Kissing his chest, Sirius laughed a little. "Oh, come on, Remus, you're expecting this to end in some kind of disaster; you need to lighten up. A-And," his voice quivered slightly, "If you really don't want to do this…it's all right."

Shaking his head, he still avoided looking at Sirius. "No…I've already ruled out that option…"

"Good," he said, sounding both pleased and relieved. "Now…um, this will probably hurt a little. If it gets too bad, just let me know, all right?"

What the hell could he have possibly been thinking? This was the craziest idea he'd ever had. Why, out of all nights, had he finally consented to doing the thing he had avoided for two years? It didn't make any—_OWWW_. Oh, good fucking Merlin, _a little_?! Was Sirius _mad_?! A sharp breath was drawn through clenched teeth, fingers curling tightly about the sheets. Maybe it just him…but wasn't this supposed feel good?

"R-Remus…?" Sirius asked tentatively. While there was definitely hesitation in his voice, there was certainly no hesitation in his actions. He hated to see Remus look like this, but it was something that had to be done.

All right, so having Sirius inside him was definitely not as pleasant as he thought it would be. "_Not a word, Sirius_," he growled, golden eyes misting with pain.

Sirius nodded, taking one of Remus' hands in his free one, lacing their fingers together. "All right, it's going to hurt again…" He said softly, placing a kiss on Lupin's stomach, slowly pressing another digit into the boy's trembling body.

"Nnn!! _Sirius_!" Remus groaned, his grip on both Sirius' hand and the sheets tightening. "C-Can't you just— nnnn!!"

"Just hold on a little more, Moony…" He whispered, trying to be as soothing as possible. "I don't want to hurt you any more than this…"

He wanted to laugh, oh yes, he wanted to laugh…but Remus hurt too much to laugh. "Sirius…_please_…" Remus begged, tears spilling down his cheeks, onto the sheets he was beginning to fear was going to rip under his grip.

"Just a little more…" Sirius repeated, cringing as Remus' nails sunk further into the back of his hand. At last, he removed his fingers, his face looking as pained as Remus'. How he hated that look of absolute pain on the werewolf's features. "Are you all right?"

Almost on the verge of not being able to answer, Remus somehow managed to nod his head. "…y-yeah…I'm fine…" No, he wasn't. But he was doing it for Sirius, and that was the only thing he had set his mind on. He had to somehow get through this, just for Sirius. Laying there, trying to regain control of his breathing, he heard Sirius pull off his own boxers before his frowning face appeared above his, the black hair tickling his face. "W-What?" Remus asked, raising a brow.

"You look bloody awful, perhaps we should st—"

Remus shook his head, "I already…told you…no." A look of surprise crossed the werewolf's face a moment later, as he watched Sirius pause, chewing on his lower lip; something he never did, and was often irritated with whenever Remus did it.

At last, Sirius looked back down to Remus, a mixed expression on his face. "All right…so, I'm not sure how this might work…but…I think it might be a little easier on you." With that, he slid his arms around Remus' back, lifting him into a sitting position close his body. "You'll hate me for this either way, but, you'll have to relax into it…but I can support you, and you can hold onto me…"

Laying his head up against Sirius' chest, he nodded, draping his arms over shoulders. So, even Sirius realized Remus wasn't coping well this, did that give him permission to flat out say he wanted to never do this again?

Without so much as a noise, Sirius lifted Remus by the waist so he was positioned over his ever-growing erection. "Just try to relax, Remus…remember I'm here if you need me…just hold on."

This was never going to work. At the first touch, every muscle in Remus' body seemed to tense. Shaking his head, he bit down on his lip; it couldn't work…it wouldn't work. It hurt too much. "I-I c-can't…"

"You just have to relax, Remus."

"I _c-can't_!" The metallic taste of blood seeped into his mouth as a few of his teeth had managed to rip the skin of his lip.

Soft concern was suddenly in Sirius' voice as he shifted his weight, so he could take Remus' chin in his hand. "Remus…it's all right, I'm here…I'm right here with you. You _can_ do this…Remus, look at me…" Gray eyes desperately scanned the werewolf's face, trying to hold his gaze. "Please…look at me…I-…I love you, Remus." With that, Sirius gently pressed a kiss against Remus' bleeding lips.

The kiss had distracted him, but it was the words that had completely caught him off guard. His body had relaxed, allowing Sirius to slip into him. However, while the phrase had been enough for a distraction, it didn't take away from the sharp pain that coursed through his lower body. "Nnnngaaah!!" He pressed his face into the crook of Sirius' neck, biting on his lip, willing himself to just somehow cope with new pain.

"Shhh, it's all right…I've got you, mate…just hold on…"

They spent the next several minutes not moving, simply Sirius holding onto Remus, gently rubbing his back. "Hey, why don't we stop, hmm? I'll get you to bed…everything'll be all right." As he shifted his weight, ready to follow through with his word, he felt the frail grasp around his back tighten.

"…n-…n-no…" Remus mumbled feebly, concentrating solely on speaking. "D-don't…give up on m-me…"

"Never…" Sirius turned to look at Remus, and then smiled. "You're still the craziest person I know."

A frown pulled on the corner of Remus' lips, and his eyes narrowed as he lifted his head. "I-I'll kill you…"

"And when, my love, are you planning on doing this?"

"…geh…j-just shut up…"

Kissing the werewolf's forehead, he smiled again. "Then let's finish this. Hold on to me, I'll go slow…"

Sirius had laid him back down on the mattress and he had struggled not to look like he was cringing. Too bad that didn't work. Oh, Merlin…Oh, God…whoever it was…please, please, please let him get through this. A groan had escaped his lips as Sirius had begun moving again. All right, in and out…in and out…it shouldn't be this painful for something so simple. At least he had managed to subdue his vocal pain to simple whimpering. Ugh, this was torture. Remus couldn't get used to the rocking motion…he wasn't even sure if there _was_ even a rocking motion; either way, there was pain, and he was really starting to hate it. "S-Sirius…" Maybe he really should have taken him up on his offer…he could be sleeping right now. Sleeping sounded _really_ nice. "…it's…nnnggg—ahhhhh…"

A large grin rippled over Sirius' lips as he heard the sudden difference in Remus' tone. "Is it better now, Moony?" He asked, his voice now lower and huskier.

The groans of pain had become moans of pleasure; the werewolf was finally starting to appreciate this. Gracefully arching his back, his grip on Sirius' arms tightened, the two Marauders began moving as one. It was a little while later, they climaxed, their cries filling the room, as Sirius slipped out of him, somehow managing to collapse next to the panting werewolf.

Remus' eyes were shut, his body shaking, his bloody, pale lips parted and quivering, every inch of his skin slick with sweat. Blind and needy, his arms somehow found strength to try and reach for Sirius.

With an exhausted smile, he took Remus in his arms, letting his warm breath caress his face. Snuggling closer, he placed a soft kiss on Remus' swollen, bloody, wonderful lips. "I love you, Remus Lupin." He whispered, then kissed his moist forehead. Sirius couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with a feeling of pride, this beautiful werewolf was finally his; Remus had done it, he had gotten through it. "Thank you…"

He thought he had heard thank you, but he wasn't really sure. Everything seemed darker than normal, even with his eyes closed. 'It was all so lovely…maybe if I could just…'

Sirius smiled once again as Remus' breathing steadied, lovingly holding his sleeping Moony. "Happy Birthday."

—The Next Morning—

Stirring as hair brushed his cheek, a soft, drowsy smile came to Remus' lips as he rolled over, pulling the blanket closer to his face. He didn't want to wake up just yet; he was having such a wonderful dream. It would probably never happen, so the longer the dream could last, the better.

"Good morning, my Moony," a voice whispered. A hand then found his, the one that was holding the blanket to his chin, and intertwined their fingers.

Wait.

What?

Golden eyes flitted open, staring into Sirius' smiling face. Wait, so that dream— Oh, Merlin, that would mean— _Oh, Merlin_. He felt the warmth flood into his cheeks, as he pulled the blanket fully over his head. Wanting to squirm away from the arms wrapping about his torso, Remus felt himself unable to move; each touch was like some sweet intoxicating sensation. It was like the Mind-Numbing Chocolate he loved so much; it did just that. It was so completely mind-numbing, he wished it would stop, but so sweet, so addictive, it would be like he would die without it.

He heard Sirius laugh, his voice huskier than normal, sort of like last night—…Oh, Merlin…. "Why are you hiding, Remus?" He then felt Sirius snuggling closer, his face emerging under the blanket. A smirk appeared on his lips as he scanned the smaller boy's face. "You're blushing…Merlin, Rem, you're so cute." With that, he kissed the tip of Remus' nose, pulling the werewolf closer.

With his face pressed against Sirius' chest, he relaxed as the soft pounding of Sirius' heart reached his ears. Fabric brushed his leg, pulling him out of his reprieve. He didn't remember putting boxers on after—…well that, and the bed smelled like clean sheets. So that would mean… "Sirius?" He asked after a minute, tilting his head up. "What happened?"

"What do you mean?" Sirius frowned, looking down to meet the werewolf's inquiring gaze. "I thought you were all right with it…"

"Oh, no, no, no! Not that, I mean what happened after last night? This is my room, isn't it?"

"Ohhh," letting out a sigh of relief, Sirius lost his frown. "I figured you'd freak if we fell asleep like that, so I ended up giving us a bath." He laughed, continuing. "Both of us being half asleep, it was kind of hard…but _bloody hell_, it was fun. So then, I carried you in here, and I _was_ going to go clean my room, but you looked so cute, I just mooched a pair of your boxers and fell asleep with you. Sorry…"

He did what? Something about the whole ritual brought the blush back to Remus' cheeks. Reaching up he took Sirius' face in his hands and smiled. "Thank you, Padfoot." With that, he kissed him, letting his hands trail upwards, his fingers entwining with the soft, smooth black hair. Oh, how Remus loved that man. And he had said it. He had _finally_ said it. "I love you, Remus". Thinking about it now, he could have exploded with happiness.

And apparently, the happiness had been felt through the kiss, because Sirius smiled against Remus' lips.

They stayed like that for what seemed to be forever, locked in each other's arms, playing some sort of kissing tag. It was then that Remus' alarm went off; it was time to go to work soon.

An half irritated, half disappointed sigh passed between Sirius' lips as he released Remus. "I guess you should go get ready, or something…Merlin," he moaned. "That means I have to get ready too…"

Snaking his hand around the back of Sirius' neck, he pulled the Black boy towards him, letting their lips barely touch. "Don't," he whispered, once again kissing Sirius. "We're calling in sick."

"Moony, that's the best idea you've had in a long time."

-------

A/N.

Wow. So this is waaay over-due. But if you want the truth…I totally forgot I had a fan-fic account. :c I know. I am a fail.

Anyways, I would like to apologize for all of Rem's bitching during the hanky-panky. I re-read it…and I wanted to kick myself in the head. It really shouldn't have hurt that much…but…ahm. I guess Rem's just a pansyass. Literally.


End file.
